The episode opens on a fade-in into the Fenton Works' kitchen, where Jazz is tutoring Dash at the kitchen table. Dash is staring dreamily at her. | |
Jazz |
(While demonstrating on paper.) Okay, in algebraic terms, "A" squared plus "B" squared equals "C" squared, where "C" is the hypotenuse while "A" and "B" are the sides of the triangle. (Looks up.) Got it? |
Dash |
(Sighing.) Ahh... |
Jazz |
Dash, you have to Focus! I'm doing a Thesis on tutoring the un-tutorable, and you're disproving my thesis that nobody's un-tutorable! |
Dash | You know, you're beautiful when you use the word (Scratching his head.) untu--untu--un...uh...whatever that word is. (Goes back to staring at her.) |
Danny walks in from the basement stairs, drinking from a glass. His eyes are closed. | |
Danny | Hey, Jazz. (Opens eyes and frowns.) Dash! W-what are you doing here? |
Danny leans against his drink on the table. His arm turns invisible and falls through the table, causing Dash's homework to fly everywhere, including landing a book on Dash's head. | |
Dash | Watch it, Fentonowski! |
Danny | (Backing up back to the stairs.) Uh, sorry. I was just, uh, passing through. (Leaves and closes door.) |
Dash |
(Takes book off head. Reaching into jacket:) Now that that twinkie's out of the way, (Pulls out invitation.) you're coming to my party Saturday, right? It'll be a chance for you to see me in my rightful setting, (Hands Jazz invite.) king of Casper High. |
Jazz | And a great place to work on my thesis on the effects of being mean to my brother and then asking me out. (Looks at invite.) Hmm. I'll go, on one condition. |
Cut to Danny walking into the Fenton Works' lab, where Jack is holding the Ghost Weasel. | |
Jack | (Cutting off Danny's walking.) Hey, Danny! Check out my latest innovation in ghost-grabbing technology, the Ghost Weasel! It collects ambient ghost energy and shoots it into the Ghost Zone. |
Danny | Does it work? |
Jack | Why wouldn't it? Only one way to find out. |
Jack turns the Ghost Weasel on and it starts sucking in loose papers. It then sucks in the Fenton Thermos, which gets stuck in its opening. | |
Jack | (Struggles to remove thermos.) Darn it! Better get the Fenton Unlodger. (Places Ghost Weasel on ground and hands Danny its nozzle. Runs off-screen.) |
Danny | Dad, couldn't you just throw it into... |
He presses the "REVERSE" button on the Ghost Weasel, which shoots out the thermos. The thermos hits the "ON" button of the Ghost Portal, whose doors open up. | |
Danny | Reverse?! |
Technus comes out of the portal, laughing maniacally. | |
Technus | Child! You have freed me, Technus, ghost master of science and electrical technology! |
Danny | Oh no you don't! (Jumps in air and goes ghost.) You're not going to use the technology in this lab to take over the world! |
Technus | What? (Looks around lab.) That's a great idea! Have you ever considered tutoring? |
Danny charges at Technus, who materializes a lightning rod in his hands and shocks Danny with it, sending him spiraling backwards. | |
Danny | You know what? I've already been dumped on once in my own house. (Picks up Ghost Weasel nozzle.) And that's enough for one day! |
He turns the Ghost Weasel on and sucks Technus in with a bunch of papers. The Weasel then sucks in some lab equipment, which causes its containment chamber to burst, sending green goo all over the lab. Danny floats with a worried look while holding the broken nozzle. | |
Jack | (Off-screen) Danny, I'm coming back, and I can't wait to see the lab looking exactly as I left it. |
Danny panics and phases out through the ceiling. Jack comes in and looks around critically. | |
Jack | (Smiling.) Yep. Perfect. |
Cut to theme song. | |
Fade onto the exterior of the Nasty Burger. | |
Sam | (Off-screen) So, Saturday night plans. |
Fade into the interior of the Nasty Burger. Danny, Sam, and Tucker are sitting at a booth. Danny is staring off, not paying attention to the conversation. | |
Sam | I say we hit the amusement park. I hear the new roller coaster has a free fall that'll take three years off your life expectancy. |
Tucker | No way. It costs forty bucks just to get in there, not to mention food and stuff. |
Sam | Hey, if you're tapped out, I could lend you the cash. |
Tucker | "Lend" means (Making air quotes.) "repay," and "repay" is out of my reach. Right, Danny? (Notices Danny isn't listening.) Danny? Hello?! |
Sam and Tucker look to see what Danny is staring at, which is Dash handing out party invitations to his friends, who cheer. Dash then hands an invite to Paulina and winks at her. | |
Danny | Great. It's the hottest party of the whole school year, and Paulina's going, and I'm not, again. |
Sam | I don't understand what you see in her. |
Danny | Are you kidding? She's only, like, perfectly flawless. |
Cut to Paulina telling her order to the cashier. | |
Paulina | Okay, uh, let me get the Mighty Meaty Cheesy Melt. Um, how meaty is that? |
Cashier | That would be "Mighty" meaty. |
Paulina | Well, can I get it a "Might"-less meaty? |
Cashier | (Typing into cash register.) That's one Mighty Mini Meaty Cheesy Melt. |
Paulina smiles. Cut back to the trio. | |
Sam | (Sarcastically:) You're right. She's a goddess. |
Tucker | Why don't we get invited to the really cool parties? We've got style, charm, good looks. At least I do, anyway. |
Sam | Dream on. On the social circuit, we're as invisible as Danny in his ghost mode. Not that it'll matter five years from now, but we have each other, right? |
Dash | (Slapping invitation in Danny's face.) Here! Your sister made me invite you. |
Sam and Tucker smile hopefully at Dash. | |
Dash | (Pointing at Danny.) Just you! Show up, shut it, go home, and nobody gets hurt. (Leaves.) |
Danny smiles at the invitation. A random girl walks by and waves at him. | |
Girl | Hey, Danny! |
Kwan | (Walks up to table.) What's up, Fenton? (Raises arms.) Party! (Leaves.) |
Paulina | (Walking by and waving.) See you Saturday, Danny. |
Danny | I'm...I'm invited! (Hugging invitation.) I've arrived! |
Sam | Swell. Send us a postcard from Popularity-ville. |
Danny | (Running out of Nasty Burger.) I will! |
Fade to the exterior of Casper High. Tucker, Danny, and Sam are walking towards the school. | |
Tucker | Seriously, Danny. Ever since you got that invitation, you're all about the "In" crowd. |
Danny | Come on, Tuck. (Chuckling.) That's ridiculous. (Stops and pumps fist in air.) Kwan! Looking good! |
Cut to Kwan, who is talking to Valerie. | |
Kwan | (Turns and points to Danny.) Fentonmeister! (Raises arms.) Woo hoo! |
Sam | He's right, Danny. It's like-- |
Dash | (Off-screen) Hey, Fenton! |
Cut to Dash holding a magazine and standing with Dale and another jock. | |
Dash | Come here! |
Danny races over to Dash. | |
Sam | --we're not even here. |
Dash | If you're coming to my party, you have to look the part. (Handing Danny magazine. It has high-end clothes on the cover.) This is what we're all wearing Saturday. Very high-end, very hip, very Dash. You do have one, right? |
Danny | Huh? Uh, yeah! Oh, sure. I-I have two. That's how hip and high-end I am. |
Dash | Well, wear one. I might have had to invite you, but if you embarrass me, your sister's going to be doing her thesis on your bruises! |
Dash walks off with his friends. Sam and Tucker walk up to Danny. | |
Danny | Oh, man. (Looks at magazine.) This must cost a fortune! Where am I going to get the money by Saturday? |
Sam | You know, I almost hate to offer-- |
Paulina | (Off-screen) Hey, Danny! |
Cut to Paulina waving a music album around while sitting on a blanket with a stereo. | |
Paulina | You wanna hear my new CD? It's really crunk! |
Danny | (To Tucker:) Is crunk good? |
Tucker | It's Paulina. |
Danny | Crunk's good! (To Paulina:) Be right there! |
Danny goes over and sits next to Paulina. | |
Sam | Okay, this is getting really annoying. |
Fade to the Fenton Works' kitchen, where Maddie and Jack are working with a cooking gadget while Jazz reads a book. The gadget begins to bounce around and make growling noises. | |
Jazz | Mom, what are you making? |
Maddie | Hot dogs! |
Jack | We invented a way to cook them ten times faster than a microwave. |
The gadget dings and Maddie opens its lid. The hot dogs, which have faces, rise up and begin growling and barking. Maddie shuts the lid on them. | |
Jazz | Great. You've figured out how to put the "Frank" back in "Frankenstein." |
Danny walks in. | |
Danny | Hey, Dad, can you spare me some cash? I-I need to buy some clothes for Saturday. |
Jack | Danny, Danny, Danny. You know, as inventors, your mother and I have plenty of money. |
Maddie | But as parents, we understand that you should understand the value of money. (Rubbing fingers together.) You want money, you gotta earn it. |
Danny | You mean, get a job? |
Jack | That, or sell something. Like your old comic books or some other junk you don't need. |
Maddie | Uh, speaking of which, (Points to boxes of goo-covered machine parts.) that junk from the Ghost Weasel explosion needs to go in the shed, if there's room. That old barn hasn't been cleaned out in years. |
Jack | (Hugging one of the boxes.) This is not junk! Every single item in this box is of vital importance to me. |
Maddie | (Grabs a part from the box.) Do you even know what this is? |
Jack | (Inspects part.) Not a clue. But I know it's important, (Handing box to Danny.) so it's off to the shed. |
Fade to the interior of the Fentons' shed. Jack opens the door and turns on the light. He and Danny are each carrying a box of parts. Danny places his on another box, and Jack drops his to the ground. | |
Jack | You know, maybe I should get rid of this junk. (Dusting off hands.) Ah well, that's a job for another day. |
Jack leaves the shed. Danny follows, but pauses at the light switch. | |
Danny | Saturday's another day. (Turns off light and closes door.) |
The parts in the boxes begin to glow green from the goo. | |
Fade to Danny modeling one of the parts to Mr. Lancer as part of a sidewalk garage sale. | |
Danny |
It's a perfectly good vacuum motor, Mr. Lancer. Only used once! (Mr. Lancer takes the motor.) Ten bucks. |
Mr. Lancer |
Looks to be in fine shape. This should fix my Hair Hornet very nicely. |
Lancer hands some money to Danny. Tucker is lounging in a chair behind him. | |
Tucker |
Hair Hornet? The crazy vacuum cleaner-slash-hair clipper (Miming scissoring motion with fingers.) they sell on TV? Don't you need hair for that? |
Lancer |
(Looks up at his bald head.) Good one, Mr. Foley. I'll remember that on Monday, when I'm grading tests. |
Mr. Lancer walks away. Sam walks up and hands Danny some money. | |
Sam | Just sold a toaster. You know, I'm surprised your dad's letting you sell off all his stuff. (Holds up a remote.) He's such a pack rat. |
Danny | Yeah, well, he's been planning on getting rid of this junk for a long time. He won't even miss it, I hope. |
Tucker | (Opening up a sun reflector to tan with.) I'm pleased with the turnout today. We're doing a really brisk business. |
Danny | (Counting a stack of money.) I'm still twenty bucks short of what I need for those sweats. (Puts money in pocket.) |
Sam | You're still welcome (Tucker stands up next to her.) to hang with us tonight. Mega-movie marathon at my place. |
Danny | Your place? Wow. You never invited us to your place before. |
Sam | That's because we're usually fighting ghosts with you. I figured it's time-- |
Cut to Dash standing at a nearby table. | |
Dash | (Yelling:) Hey, Fentina! |
Danny walks over to Dash. | |
Sam | --for you to totally ignore me for about the billionth time this week. |
Dash | Jazz has given me so much extra schoolwork that my computer's overloaded. Got anything to make it work? |
Danny | Oh, sure do. (Picks up a computer part and software.) This motherboard and this Portals XL operating system will make it work like it's brand new! (Hands Dash the software.) Twenty bucks takes it all, and I'll even (Picks up upgrade disk.) throw in this upgrade disk. |
Dash | Done. See you tonight. And just because I can't believe I'm saying it, (Pokes Danny in chest.) I will say it again. See you tonight. |
He takes the upgrade disk from Danny and walks away, throwing money over his shoulder, which Danny catches. | |
Danny | Twenty bucks! (Raises hands in the air.) I'm in! Oh, jeez. I better get to the mall before the shops close. (Goes back over to Sam and Tucker.) You guys don't mind cleaning up for me, do you? Great! See ya! (Runs off.) |
Sam | (Crosses arms.) So now we're his clean-up crew, too? |
She looks over to where Tucker was standing, but he's running off as well, waving back to her. | |
Tucker | See you tonight! |
Fade to Tucker walking up to Sam's house later that night. He rings the doorbell, and Sam opens the door while talking on her phone. Tucker walks inside. | |
Sam | (Over the phone:) Right. That's two medium, one pepperoni, and one veggie. Put it on my tab. (Hangs up and closes the door. To Tucker:) Hey, Tucker. |
Tucker | I hope they hustle. I'm starved. |
The doorbell rings immediately and Sam opens the door to reveal a delivery boy, Nate carrying two pizzas. | |
Nate | Here's your pizza, Sam. |
Sam | (Takes the pizzas.) Thanks, Nate. (Hands him some money.) |
Nate | Ten bucks? Thanks, Sam! |
Nate walks away and Sam closes the door behind him. | |
Tucker | You tipped the guy a ten-spot? |
Sam | Whoops. Sorry. I thought it was a one. (Walking past Tucker.) Come on. We're watching movies downstairs. |
Cut to Tucker reaching the bottom of the stairs, where he is left in awe of Sam's home theater, which includes a giant movie screen, two lounge seats, a popcorn machine, and a soda fountain. | |
Tucker | This is your downstairs?! |
Sam | (Setting pizzas down on the snack bar.) What? Too much? |
Tucker | (Nodding and walking forward.) Uh-huh. |
Sam | I know, I should have told you and Danny this a long time ago, but my family's kind of...filthy rich. Weird, huh? |
Tucker | (Drops backpack in surprise.) Whoa! Time-out! You're loaded? |
Sam | My great-granddad Izzy was an inventor. He invented that machine (Twirling her finger in the air.) that twirls cellophane around deli toothpicks. |
Tucker | (Sitting in one of the seats.) You're the deli toothpick cellophane-twirling heiress? No way! |
Sam | (Opening one of the pizzas.) Look, if this is too much for you, we can do something else. |
Tucker | Are you kidding?! |
Cut to Mr. Lancer standing in his bathroom in front of the mirror. | |
Mr. Lancer | I can't think of a better way to spend (Holds up his razor.) a Saturday night than with a back-shaving (Pulls shirt down around waist to reveal a full back of hair.) jamboree. |
He turns on the razor, which begins to glow green as its blades grow in length. Mr. Lancer tries to control the razor as it rumbles, but it breaks free, floats up into the air, and dive-bombs him, spinning around him before flying off. Mr. Lancer turns around to reveal a hash symbol shaved into his back. The razor crashes out the window and flies off down the street. | |
Cut to Danny riding a motor scooter down the street, his new sweats hanging from his arm. | |
Danny | (Looking down at sweats.) Popularity, here I come. |
He gasps as his ghost sense goes off. Mr. Lancer's razor flies over Danny's head, knocking off his helmet, then flies back again over him, making him drop his sweats. The end of the razor's cord wraps itself around Danny and pulls him into the air. The razor tries to attack Danny, but he stops it by catching its cord between his feet. It tries to tug free, then lunges twice at Danny, who dodges the attacks. | |
Danny | (Balancing himself.) Whoa! Whoa! I just got my hair the way I like it! On my head! |
The razor transforms into a giant single-bladed straight razor and looms over Danny. | |
Danny | And I'm way too young to shave! |
Fade to commercial break. | |
Danny | Going ghost! |
He goes ghost, and as the razor lunges for him, his legs change into a ghostly tail and he slips out of the cord. The razor slices into the sidewalk, and Danny flies up above it. | |
Danny | Okay, it's a haircut, not a head-cut! |
Danny flies at the razor, which transforms back into its original form and flies at him. He punches it out of the air and it bounces on the street, before transforming into a giant pair of scissors and lunging at him once again. Danny splits himself in half and elongates his midsection to avoid the attack, and then grabs onto the end of the cord as it flies past. The scissors and Danny then phase through a building, and crash out through a window on the other side. Danny finally tugs back on the cord to stop the scissors, and spins himself around to gain momentum to throw them off into the distance. He then notices a car below driving towards his dropped sweats, and zooms down to save them at the last second. As he inspects them, he notices a stray piece of glowing cord on the sidewalk. | |
Danny | (Turning back into human form.) I know i should be concerned, (Getting back on scooter.) and I will be. Right after the party. (He rides off down the street.) |
Fade back to Sam's house and into her home theater. Sam is leaning against the snack bar. | |
Sam | (Annoyed:) Tucker, are we watching movies or not? |
Tucker | (Sitting in chair with popcorn and a soda.) Okay, okay. Just a few more questions. Could you buy a plane? |
Sam | Yep. |
Tucker | A yacht? |
Sam | Yep. |
Tucker | Um...a bowling alley? |
Sam | Nope. |
She presses a button on a remote and the movie screen wall slides out of view to reveal a four-lane bowling alley. | |
Sam | There's no place to put a second one. |
Sam's grandmother, Ida rides out on a motorized scooter onto the bowling alley and bowls, getting a strike. | |
Ida | (Pumping her fist.) Yippee! Bubbe's hot tonight! |
The movie screen wall closes back over the bowling alley. | |
Tucker | (Sniffs.) That's weird, because you don't smell stinking rich. |
Sam | (Sighs. Walking over to sit in the other chair.) Will you stop it? That's the whole reason I didn't tell anybody. |
Tucker | But I don't get it. With all this money, why do you hang out with me and Danny? If you flash a little of that bling bling, you'd be Miss Popularity! |
Sam | I don't need popularity, Tucker, especially not if I have to buy it. |
Tucker | You should tell that to Danny. Can you believe people actually spent good money on that old junk from his parents' shed? |
Sam | Well, I did snag (Holds up a glowing-green remote.) this really cool remote for three bucks. And he did give Dash a pretty good deal on the computer stuff. |
Cut to Dash's bedroom, where Dash is typing on his computer. | |
Dash | Maybe Fenton's not such a loser after all. Hehe, as if. But this thing runs like a race car! (His watch beeps and he reads its alert: "PARTY TIME.") Whoa! Getting late. Better shower and change before the early birds show up. |
He gets up from his computer and leaves. The computer screen goes blank, and then Technus's face shows up on it as he smiles and laughs maniacally. | |
Fade to the Fenton Works' kitchen, where Jazz walks to and opens the fridge, only to shriek and shut it closed after the ghost hot dogs start barking and growling at her. | |
Jazz | Great. Leftovers. |
Danny slides into the kitchen, showing off his new sweats that he's wearing. | |
Danny | Well, is it the bomb? Is it fresh? Is it stoopid, (Holding up two fingers.) with an "o-o?" |
Jazz | Oh, it's stupid. I'll give you that. |
Danny | Well, you'll change your tune when you see me at the party. (Notices Jazz is still in her normal clothes.) When are you changing? |
Jazz | Not changing. Not going. |
Danny | What? You're the only reason Dash invited me! |
Jazz | Not caring. |
Jack | (Off-screen) Code red! |
Jazz | And...not staying. |
She walks away. Jack rushes in, looming over Danny in a panicked state. | |
Jack | Somebody's raided the junk shed while we were away. (Grabs onto Danny.) Danny, did you see anything?! |
Danny | (Suspiciously:) Uh, no, no! Not a thing, but... (Jack drops him.) we should compare notes (Walking out backwards.) once I get home from the party. Bye! |
Jack | Good plan, son! In the meantime, I'd better secure the lab. (Opens the fridge.) Cover me, boys. Serpentine! (A chain of ghost hot dogs flies out and wraps itself around Jack.) |
Fade to Danny walking up to Dash's front door. | |
Danny | Okay, this is it. Don't screw it up. Look out, world, here comes Danny Fenton! |
He rings the doorbell and Dash opens the door. He is dressed in Danny's usual clothes. | |
Danny | (Confused:) Uh, Dash? |
Dash | (Leans against doorway.) Oh, right, right. You're not really part of my posse, so you didn't get the email. You see, after buying that computer stuff, I didn't have enough money to buy the sweat suit, so I changed the dress code to loser chic! |
Behind Dash are party guests dressed like Danny, Tucker, and Sam. | |
Danny | (Walking in.) Oh, swell. |
Paulina walks up to Danny. She is dressed like Sam. | |
Paulina | You like it? It's so horrible, it's cool! (Notices Danny's clothes.) Eck, who dressed you, your mom? (Walks away.) |
Danny | (About to protest.) Uh-- (Sighs.) |
Fade into Dash's bedroom, where Technus is talking out of Dash's computer. | |
Technus | Yes! It is time! (Technus's face appears on-screen.) Calling all mechanized spirits! Come to me, my minions! It is time (Floats computer into air.) to fulfill my destiny! |
Green lightning sparks around the computer as Technus laughs maniacally. The lightning then shoots out of Dash's window and spreads around town to various electronics and appliances, summoning them back to Technus. Included are a power drill, a toaster, and a washer and dryer. | |
Cut to Sam and Tucker watching a movie about karate. The screen pauses on one man kicking another in the face, then skips back and plays the kick repeatedly. | |
Sam | (Annoyed:) Tucker, if you want to watch a part over again, could you please tell me first? |
Tucker | Me? You're the one messing with the remote. |
The remote glows and floats up from the table between them midair. | |
Tucker | I'm not schooled in the ways of the rich, but do all your remotes do that? |
Sam | No. Well, my toaster does, but it's from Denmark. That stuff Danny was selling must have been contaminated with ghost stuff! |
The remote shoots a zap of green lightning at the popcorn machine, which breaks and blasts popcorn everywhere, and another one at the sods fountain, which turns on and sprays soda all over the room. Sam and Tucker duck out of the way, and the remote phases up through the ceiling. | |
Cut to Sam and Tucker running out onto the street. There is a steady stream of electronics and appliances flying through the air in one direction. | |
Tucker | Looks bad. Probably a job for Danny Phantom. |
Sam | Probably. And if I wasn't so mad at him, I'd probably care that it's going to interrupt his big jock party. Shall we? (They run off.) |
Cut to Danny walking around at the party, trying to start a conversation. He walks up to a boy and a girl. | |
Danny | Hi, I'm Danny. Do you guys-- |
They walk away and Danny frowns. Another girl walks past, ignoring him. | |
Danny | Hey, aren't you in my fifth period? |
He sighs and walks upstairs, stopping at the top to look back out over the party. | |
Danny | What am I doing? These people aren't my friends, even if they all look like them. Man, I wish Tucker and Sam were here. It's lonely being popular. |
As Danny sighs again, his ghost sense goes off and directs his attention to Dash's room. | |
Danny | That's odd. |
He opens the door to Dash's room and gasps. Technus (still in the computer) is laughing maniacally as various electronics and appliances float around him. They all merge together to form a robotic battle suit for Technus. | |
Technus | I am Technus, master of all things mechanical! And once I complete my construction, you will all succumb to my awesome pow-- (His face screen glitches and his head momentarily comes loose from the neck.) Ow! Ooh! Pow-pow! (Grabs his head.) What is wrong with me? |
Danny | (Notices the upgrade disk on Dash's bed.) The upgrade! Dash still hasn't upgraded the software! (To Technus:) Oh, no! (Going ghost.) You're not getting that upgrade disk and making yourself more powerful! |
Technus | What? Another great idea! The heck with tutoring! You should be a teacher! |
Danny flies towards the upgrade disk. Technus produces a toaster from his shoulder and shoots two ecto-blasts, which hit Danny as he picks up the disk and send him phasing through a door to land in Dash's closet, which is filled with letterman jackets and purple and pink teddy bears. | |
Danny | Ghost toast? Jeez, how many letter jackets does one guy need? And these-- (Picks up a bear.) --I don't even wanna know. |
Danny flies out of the closet and slams into Technus before he can pick up the disk, crushing Dash's bed in the process. Technus then karate-chops Danny into the wall. | |
Technus | You are a formidable opponent, but a little wet behind the ears. Perhaps you could use a little drying off? |
A claw emerges from the dryer in Technus's chest, grabs onto Danny, and pulls him back in. The dryer then spins him a bit and ejects him, sending him flying across the room into Dash's dresser. Technus finally gets ahold of the upgrade disk. | |
Technus | (Holding the disk up victoriously.) Aha! |
Danny slams into him, sending him crashing into Dash's television and stereo. Technus holds his head in pain, but then notices that the upgrade disk has slipped into his CD drive. His screen shows the upgrade loading and completing its installation. Technus then grins and growls evilly. Danny turns intangible and flies at him, phasing them both through the wall. Dash opens the door and sees the damage done to his bedroom. | |
Dash | Fenton... (Yelling:) You're a dead man! |
Cut to a street outside, where Sam and Tucker meet up under the trail of floating electronics. | |
Tucker | (Carrying the Fenton Thermos.) Sam! I got the Fenton Thermos! You know, Danny's really got to start carrying this in some sort of lunchbox. |
Sam | Everything is gravitating here to Dash's house. Looks like whatever fun Danny's having will be coming to an end soon. |
A crash is heard, and Danny yells and flails past Sam and Tucker, slamming into the side of a building. | |
Danny | (Dazed:) Hi, Sam. Hi, Tuck. Glad you could make it. |
He falls to the ground, unconscious, and Sam and Tucker turn back around to see a giant Technus emerge from the alleyway. | |
Technus | I am Technus, master of technology and destroyer of worlds! Behold my awesome electronic fury! (Bending forward.) Who's your daddy? |
Danny regains consciousness and sees Technus. He flies up and punches him, but Technus doesn't budge. Danny continually tries hitting him, until Technus brings a hand up and knocks him to the ground. Sam and Tucker stare down at him. | |
Danny | Guys? Help! |
He flies back up only to get knocked down by Technus again. Sam and Tucker cross their arms and turn their backs to Danny. | |
Danny | Come on, guys! (Flies up and gets knocked down.) Guys, come on, seriously! (Flies back up again. While dodging Technus's attacks:) I'm sorry I chose hanging with the popular kids over you guys. It was stupid and shallow and I'll never do it again! |
Technus punches him in the back into the ground, where Sam and Tucker smile at each other and look down at him. | |
Sam | How can we be of assistance? |
Danny | (Stands up.) He's running an old version of Portals XL. |
Sam | That piece of vaporware? It's the worst software ever. |
Tucker | Keep him busy. I think I know how you can beat him. |
Danny | That, I can do. (Flies up to Technus.) Get back, you hunk of my dad's junk! |
Technus | Could mere junk do this? |
A remote and a robotic finger emerge from the dryer in his chest. The finger presses a button on the remote, and Danny changes into a cowboy. The button is pressed again, and he changes into a female model. The button is pressed once more, and he changes into Spock from Star Trek. | |
Danny | (Grabbing the remote.) Give me that! |
He presses a button and changes back to normal, but then is immediately grabbed by Technus's claw and slammed into a wall. He grabs onto the claw, and looks down at Tucker. | |
Danny | Tucker, any time! |
Tucker | (Working on his PDA.) I'm trying, I'm trying! |
Sam | What's wrong? |
Tucker | I'm trying to bypass the program, but I can't! He must have upgraded. |
Sam | What do we do? |
Tucker | We need the latest version of Portals XL, (Technus continuously slams Danny into the wall in the background.) but where are we gonna get it this time of night? |
Sam | Leave it to me. (Holds out her phone and dials a number.) |
Danny | (Being slammed into the wall. Grunts.) Guys? |
A delivery girl, Tracey rides up on a scooter. | |
Tracey | (Handing Sam a disk.) Here you go, Sam. |
Sam | (Takes the disk and hands her money in return.) Thanks, Tracey. |
Tucker | Wow! You have access to the latest technology after hours? |
Tracey | Yep. |
Tucker | (Flirtatiously:) What else can you do after hours? |
Tracey | (Holds up a form on a clipboard.) Just sign the voucher, sir. |
Sam | (Talking up to Technus:) Uh, excuse me. I'm Sam. I don't believe I caught your name. Perhaps you should scream it really loud and shout out your motive. |
Technus | (Down to Sam:) Hello. (Shouting:) I am Technus! Manipulator of machines! Lord of all gadgetry! Wizard of integrated circuitry! |
Sam | Go on. (Bends down and picks up the ends of two power cords.) Isn't there more you'd like to tell me? (Plugs the two cords in together.) |
Technus | Oh, yes! I am also master (Starts glitching.) of all... (Fades out.) |
Danny | What's happening? |
A cord trails down from the back of Technus's head, which Sam plugged into a cord leading into Tucker's PDA, which reads, "SHUTDOWN." | |
Tucker | Portals XL is happening. Everybody knows that every new version of Portals XL has a gigantic hole in its security system. |
Technus | What?! No! |
Technus continues to glitch, and the claw holding Danny releases him. | |
Danny | Yes! (Flies up and grabs the end of the claw.) Process this! |
Danny shoves the claw into Technus's front disk drive, which electrocutes his battle suit and causes "ERROR" to blink on his screen. | |
Technus | Wait! That doesn't go there! |
The suit sparks and shuts down, hunching forward. | |
Tucker | (Pulls out the Fenton Thermos.) And for my final trick... |
Tucker throws the thermos to Danny, who catches and uses it to suck Technus out of the battle suit. | |
Technus | (Being sucked into thermos.) Noooooo! |
Danny caps off the thermos. The battle suit shakes and falls apart into a heap of electronics on the ground. | |
Sam | Nice going, Tuck. |
Danny lands on the ground next to them. | |
Tucker | Don't thank me. (Holds up the disk.) Thank lousy software. |
Fade to a hallway of Casper High, where Sam, Danny, and Tucker are walking together. | |
Tucker | So, what's the damage from this weekend? Did you get in trouble for taking your folks' stuff? |
Danny | Not really. I hauled it all back to the shed yesterday while they were out. My dad's checking every piece for government surveillance devices. |
Sam | Sounds like you got off pretty easily. |
Danny | Well, I do have to return those stupid sweats so I can refund everybody's money. (Stops walking.) And I still feel terrible about the way I treated you guys. Of all people, I should know how it feels to be invisible. |
Sam | (Leans against a locker.) So would you say you've learned a lesson from all this? |
Danny looks over at Dash, who opens up his locker. A pile of the teddy bears from his closet fall out onto the ground. | |
Dash | (Yelling) Fenton! |
Danny | Yep. That one person's trash, is another person's revenge. |
The trio laughs and the screen closes in on Danny. | |
End |
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Attack of the Killer Garage Sale/Transcript
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