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| Episode starts at the Casper High auditorium. Sam and Tucker are seen sitting and the camera pans over to Dora Mattingly walking up to the center of the stage. | |
| Dora Mattingly | Girls, do you dream of being a princess? |
| The female students stand up and cheering "Yeah!", arms and fists in the air. | |
| Sam | (Leaning on her elbow, bored) No. |
| Dora | --Of wearing beautiful gowns and jewelry? (Shows off giant sparkling ring.) |
| Sam | No. |
| Dora | --Of charming and beguiling that special prince? (Dora bats her eyelashes, hands clasped together.) |
| Sam | ...and gag. (she points a finger to her mouth.) |
| Dora | I'm Dora Mattingly, and I want to make sure that dream comes true for one of you sweet young ladies. |
| Dora walks over to a large rope hanging off the right side of the stage and pulls it. A large poster comes down, text: 'Miss Teenage Happy Princess Beauty Pageant'. The crowd of students crowd cheer and clap. | |
| Dora | That's why I'm bringing my 'Miss Teenage Happy Princess Beauty Pageant' right here to your school. |
| Sam | (left hand on her cheek) I hate this more than I hate the morning sun. |
| Tucker | What's wrong with beauty pageants? |
| Sam | Other than the fact they turn girls into shallow doormats and boys into drooling idiots? Everything! |
| Tucker | But it's got a swimsuit competition! |
| Dora | (hand up to her head, looking around at the crowd) I need a worthy and chivalrous knight to select our princess! |
| The boys all stand and begin shouting while waving their arms up to get Dora's attention. 'Oh, me! I want to do it' and 'pick me! | |
| Tucker | (Putting his arms down) Oh, man! Danny would love this. Where is he anyway? (He puts his hands on his hips, turning to Sam.) |
| Scene changes to a battle with a medieval axe ghost executioner, the Headsman. The ghost roars and swings his ax at Danny. He dodges it a bunch of times. | |
| Danny | Hey! if you needed something, you should just axe. Get it? (he chuckles) Axe? |
| The headsman pulls out a glowing green lasso and throws it at Danny with a grunt, tying Danny's feet together. | |
| Danny | Yikes! |
| The headsman drags him towards the school below, turning them both invisible. The scene cuts to Dora continuing her presentation to the students. | |
| Dora | Our princess must appeal to the masses, so she shall be chosen by a common boy--Someone average and bland. |
| Dora walks at the edge of the stage, passing several male students. | |
| Dora | (Dash looks up at her smiling.) Too popular. (Dash frowns as Dora passes Kwan next.) Too athletic. (She passes Mikey next) Too nerdy. (She approaches Tucker.) Too-- |
| Tucker | Handsome? Smart? Intelligent? |
| Dora | --Annoying. (She walks off.) |
| Scene focuses on the ceiling of the room, The Headsman flying in with Danny still attached by the lasso. He transforms as The Headsman flies towards the stage. | |
| Dora | (Pointing out students in the crowd.) Normal, Dull-- |
| Danny screams as he hits the floor of the stage, the Headsman continuing on his way through the stage remaining unseen. | |
| Dora | (throws hands up in the air) You! (gestures towards him) You're perfect! |
| Dora walks towards a confused Danny and puts a hand on his shoulder. The camera zooms out of a crystal ball, showing the current events unfolding. | |
| Prince Aragon | Perfect indeed... |
| The prince's necklace begins to glow and the camera pans to the wall of his castle where his shadow morphs into that of a dragon. | |
| Prince Aragon | A perfect... PAWN! HA HA HA HA!!! |
| The camera zooms into the dragons mouth as he laughs. | |
| Theme song | |
| Cut to Casper high, the bell rings. Danny and Tucker are walking through the halls. | |
| Various female students | (Sweetly while waving) Hi, Danny. |
| Paulina | I baked some cookies for you! |
| Star | I did your math homework! |
| Danny | (Chuckles) Now, ladies... you can't influence the judge with cookies and--whoa! |
| Danny looks over at the stack on papers in Star's hand. | |
| Danny | Is this homework done all the way through next semester? |
| Star | (nodding and smiling) Mhmm! |
| Danny | (smiles) This pleases me. |
| Dash walks over to Danny. He grabs him by the shirt and pulls him up in the air. | |
| Dash | Hey Fentoid! It's only been two hours and I'm already tired of you hogging all the hotties! |
| Danny snaps his fingers and Paulina kicks Dash in the shin. He drops Danny from his grip. | |
| Dash | OW! (He grabs his leg and jumps up and down) ARGGH! |
| Star and the other girls exchange looks with Dash. | |
| The girls | GET HIM!! |
| They all chase Dash as he screams while running away. Danny watches on with a smile. | |
| Tucker | (holding the straps of his backpack) It's like a dream! Every girl totally wants to date us. |
| Danny | (amused) Us? |
| Tucker | (hands up in front of him) Hey, as the judge's best pal, I'm entitled to a little spillover. (pulls out PDA) Want to go out, uh...(scrolls through a bunch of names with pictures) Ashley? |
| Ashley | (Annoyed with hands on her hips.) Yeah, right! |
| Tucker | (Using a persuasive tone) Judge's best friend. |
| Ashley puts her hands on Tucker's shoulder, leaning closer to him with a smile. | |
| Ashley | Pick you up at 7:00? |
| Tucker | 7:00. |
| Ashley walks away and Danny smiles as she leaves, Tucker smugly making his point. | |
| Tucker | That means I should be free around 9:00 for... (his PDA scrolls down and lands on a picture of Sam.) |
| Danny and Tucker | SAM?? |
| Sam | (Annoyed.) Yes, Sam. I signed up for the stupid pageant. (Rolls her eyes.) |
| Many students look at Sam and gasp loudly. Danny and Tucker share a hearty laugh. | |
| Danny | What is this April Fools Day? |
| Tucker | (Holding up a finger at Sam.) Yeah, you hate this contest! |
| Sam | I'm not doing this to win-- (Sam grabs Tucker's beret and pulls it over his head.) I'm doing it to make a statement. (She walks off and Tucker pulls his beret off from one of his eyes, watching her leave.) |
| Scene changes to the back of the school, near some bleachers. A bunch of female students are gathered around. | |
| Dora | Well, here's a statement. (holds a hand out towards Sam, standing beside her.) It says I'll never win in this outfit." |
| Sam glares at Dora and puts her hands on her hips. | |
| Dora | Still, Ms. Manson has a point. (She walks towards the girls, now all standing in a row.) You girls are unique individuals with strong opinions and independent minds. |
| Sam | You're darn right we are. |
| Dora | It's my job to make you forget that and mold you into happy little princesses. (She smiles with her hands clasped together) |
| All the girls put their hands up and shout 'YAY!'. Sam looks on displeased. The scene cuts to the girls all walking in a straight line with books on their heads. Sam is looking down and reading her book. She walks into the girl in front of her, making the book fall off and causing a domino effect. The camera pans to Danny and Tucker, watching from the bleachers. | |
| Danny | (Point a finger out.) Dating her Friday. |
| Tucker | (Also points a finger out.) Dating her Saturday. |
| Danny and Tucker | (Pointing to the same girl.) Dating her Sunday! (They exchange looks and hold their fists out to play rock, paper, scissors.) Once, twice, shoot! (Tucker's fist making scissors while Danny's makes paper.) |
| Tucker | Ha! (leans back with his eyes closed, Danny looks at him annoyed.) Dating her Sunday. |
| Danny's ghost sense goes off as The Headsman ghost smashes through the bleachers, towards the field. | |
| Danny | If we live that long! (He clenches his fists and turns towards Tucker.) Could we do this when I'm a little less popular?! (He jumps into the broken rubble of the bleachers and transforms.) |
| Danny aims his fists at the large ghost and shoots out large beams of energy, hitting the Headsman in the back. | |
| The camera cuts to Dora and the female students, practicing their smiles. The girls each smile and get the approval of Dora. Sam steps in front of Dora with a bored expression and then opens her mouth to reveal fangs. Dora holds her arms up in shock. She gasps and holds her hand out, annoyed. Sam then spits the fake teeth into Dora's palm and walks off. | |
| Camera cuts back to Danny. He ducks the swing of the ghost's axe making the tree behind him get chopped off. It begins to fall down towards some unsuspecting students. | |
| Sam | I'm telling you. There was something weird about Dora. |
| Danny | Mm hmm. |
| Sam | Ghostly weird. |
| Danny | Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah that's it. |
| Sam | So glad we could have this little talk. |
| Danny | Sam, look. Whatever it is I can handle it when this little window of popularity is over. But right now I have important judge duties to attend to. |
| Paulina | I've got those compliments you wanted to hear. |
| Tucker | And I brought the tape recorder so we'll have proof you said them. |
| Danny | Ha! Aw crud. |
| Paulina | I'm still totally into you but I can't let Danny Fenton know. He's the judge. |
| Danny | Dude. You're seriously cutting into my very limited girls are flirting with me time. Ha! Not so tough without your arrows. I don't know why these spooks are going medieval on me. But I'm gonna find out. |
| Girls | Hi Danny. |
| Danny | As soon as this pageant is over. |
| Dora | You see? The boy is distracted. The ring masks me from his ghost sense. He suspects nothing. |
| Aragon | Which is more than I can say for the girl. Perhaps next time you should just walk up to her and scream I'm a ghost! |
| Dora | Please. Please forgive me brother. I didn’t think-- |
| Aragon | You're not supposed to think. You're supposed to keep her away from the ghost boy until show time. So do it! |
| Tucker | Wait. Let's just savor our last few moments of datability. (sighs) I'm gonna miss this. |
| Sam | Danny. Don't go out there. Dora is-- |
| Danny | An insult to modern women? A throw back to the dark ages? And speaking of dark ages. |
| Sam | Danny wait! Miss Mattingly, I didn't hear you. |
| Dora | You'd be surprised how dainty your footsteps can be when you don't wear combat boots! Come. We mustn’t miss the pageant. |
| Danny | You know, I was really hoping we could bury the hatchet. Missed! Or, perhaps not. Later dude. It's been a slice. Okay well, it's official. I'm all out of axe puns. |
| Lancer | ♪ A happy princess is sweet and pure ♪ ♪ With hair of gold and teeth of white ♪ ♪ Her soft complexion is pure perfection ♪ ♪ With nary a pimple in sight ♪ (Points to girl behind him) Except her. (Girl shrieks and runs off) |
| Sam | Miss Mattingly, I just realized, I'm not cut out to be a princess. So I'll just be going-- |
| Dora | Nowhere. |
| Danny | Wait! Don't I get a trial? A phone call? A last request? Come on, cut me some slack. Hey another ax pun. Oh man. I'm late for the pageant. |
| Paulina | For my Happy Princess talent I'm going to lead a cheer…about me! Oh yeah! Paulina! That's me! I seen ya! I'm cute. As a button. And you. You're nothing. Uh huh. Alright. Break it down. |
| Sam | I'm Sam Manson and my Happy Princess talent is…goth haiku. Despair without end. (quickly whispered) Dora's a ghost. Utter blackness. Nothingness. (quickly whispered) Dora's a ghost. Dora! Is! A ghost! |
| Danny | So that's your big statement? Dora's a ghost? (Chuckles) I mean what…wait. Dora's a ghost? |
| Lancer | Good sir judge, hast thou made thy decision? |
| Danny | Sam! |
| Lancer | Yay verily let it be proclaimed that the Happy Princess crown shall be decreed to…Sam?! Are you unwell? |
| Danny | Sam! No! |
| Aragon | My loyal subjects. At long last the wait is over. Your prince has finally selected his bride. |
| Sam | Bride? |
| Dora | Oh cheer up dear. You're going to be a princess. |
| Sam | Cheer up? I'm hauled off to the ghost zone. I'm about to be married to a stranger. Oh and let's not forget this lovely feature to my crown. It won't come off! |
| Dora | (Laughs) It's no use child. Only prince Aragon can remove the tiara. You are bound to him forever. (Laughs) Isn't that wonderful? |
| Sam | Well Prince Aragon needs to get his head out of the Middle Ages. It's the 21st century. |
| Dora | Not here. In this realm all time stands still. Not that you care but this is no fun for me either. I have to make you a princess or the prince will have my head. (Sighs) We're doomed. |
| Star | You're doomed Fenton. You hear? |
| Paulina | You can't hide in there forever! |
| Dash | Step aside ladies. Listen up Fen-toast. Your get out of wail free card just expired! Hey, where'd he go? |
| Danny | This is pointless. We don't even know if Sam is in the Ghost Zone. |
| Specter Speeder computer | Real world item detected. |
| Tucker | And now we do. Good old reliable technology. |
| Sam | Ow. Why does the prince want to marry a human anyway? |
| Dora | My brother wants to possess that which no one else has. A human bride. That's why he forced me to make your friend the judge. Surely a half ghost could would the perfect human bride. |
| Sam | You gotta be kidding. That makes about as much sense as-- |
| Dora | Glass slippers? I know. But the prince always gets what he wants. |
| Sam | Oh really? Then I'll just have to be what he doesn't want. |
| Tucker | What..happened? |
| Danny | The ship just stopped working. |
| Tucker | My PDA, too. What is this place? Some kinda tech-free zone? |
| Danny | Oh man. We've got bigger problems. |
| Aragon | Enough merry making. Bring forth my bride. Now! |
| Sam | Are you ready to part-ay. Wazzup? Here comes the bride! |
| Dora | Please. I'm begging you, don’t-- |
| Sam | Food! Cool! I'm starving! Meat! Meat! Meat! What are you looking at? |
| Aragon | Dorothea? What is the meaning of this? |
| Dora | Uh, pre-wedding jitters? |
| Sam burps in Aragon's face. | |
| Danny | Coast is clear. Let's move. Oh man, not these guys again. Uh Tucker. A little help. |
| Tucker | No problem. I'll just hack into the security system, cut off the power and…stupid tech-free zone. I knew technology wouldn't let me down. Hi-yah! Is there anything you can't do? |
| Aragon | Can you not do anything right sister? Control her. |
| Dora | But-- |
| Sam | I've always wanted to do this. |
| Dora | I always wanted to do that, too. |
| Aragon | Oh you are so useless. Guards! |
| Sam | Yahoo! Mosh pit! |
| Aragon | To the dungeon with her. |
| Sam | But sweetheart, what about our wedding? This tiara bonds us forever, remember? |
| Aragon | You are not fit to wear it. |
| Sam | That's what I was hoping you'd say. Hey! Let me go! |
| Danny | Sam. We're here to rescue you. |
| Sam | I don't need rescuing. I was doing fine without you. |
| Danny | Sam! |
| Aragon | Insolent peasants! No one steals Prince Aragon's bride! |
| Dora | But I thought you didn't want her. |
| Aragon | You do not thing. Ever. (Shrieks) You do as you're told. |
| Danny | Wedding's canceled, scaly. |
| Tucker | Looks like I can get past all kinds of firewalls. Except that one. |
| Sam | You're just going to let your brother push you around like that? |
| Dora | What choice do I have? A princess isn't supposed to think. We just have to smile, look pretty, and live happily ever after. |
| Sam | So, uh, how happy are you? You're just as smart as your brother. And just as powerful. |
| Dora | True. We do share the same power. Which means…I should be able…to do this. |
| Danny | So, you gonna let my friend go? Or do we have to do this the hard way? |
| Aragon | How about the slow and painful way. Dora you imbecile. What do you think you're doing? |
| Dora | What I should have done ages ago. Sixteen hundred years of doing your bidding. Sixteen hundred years of suffering your insults. Sixteen hundred years of-- |
| Aragon | You. This is your fault. You've been filling her head with your modern ideas. |
| Danny | You might want to listen to some of those ideas. I know I should have. |
| Sam | Apology accepted. |
| Dora | I think it's time we took this realm out of the dark ages. |
| Aragon | (Screams) What is that? |
| Sam | Time moving forward. And you have a lot of catching up to do. |
| Tucker | You must be the ladies in waiting. Well, wait no more because Friar Tuck--Call me. You can now. Your phones will work. |
| Paulina | Let's scratch his eyes out with our perfectly manicured nails. |
| Danny | (Stammering) Wait wait wait wait wait. No. Ugh, I. Y-you don't understand. I never actually picked the winner. |
| Paulina | You didn't? I knew you'd come to your senses. |
| Danny | I have. About a lot of things. And for helping me to do that, I decree our Miss Teenage Happy Princess shall be…Sam Manson. |
| Girls gasp. | |
| Sam | I don't know what to say. Oh, wait, yes I do. These things are stupid. Up for a double veggie beggie at the Nasty Burger? |
| Danny | Sure but you're buying. I mean, this is the 21st century. |
| Tucker | Fear not, ladies. I'm still accepting date bribes for Miss Congeniality. |
| Paulina | I'm clawing his eyes out Saturday. |
| Star | I'm clawing his eyes out Sunday. Who gets him today? |
| Paulina and Star | One. Two. Three. |
| Star | Ha. You're dead Foley! |
| Star runs after Tucker screaming. | |
| End of episode. |