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S03e11 weak in the knees
"HELP!"
This transcript needs to be finished!


Tucker Man, I love the water. Girls, bathing suits, and the occasional opportunity to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Danny Geez, it's hot. Aren't you sweating, Sam?
Sam Regular people sweat. Goths, we simmer.
Danny (Sniffs the air around Sam) I think you're overcooked.
Sam Wooh! I reek. [Tucker sprays breath freshener in Sam's armpit. Sam scowls.] Yet another reason [covers herself with her cape like Dracula] to get out of the sun.
Dash Watch our place in line, will ya?
Danny How can I? I'm in front of you.
Dash Not any more!
Danny Well... this is humiliating.
Tucker But oddly refreshing.
Danny Well this isn't. We've got company, Tuck.
Cut to Danny.
Danny It's Johnny 13's Shadow. I've got to find a place to go ghost.
Tucker You do that. And I'll stay here in case any of these girls need mouth-to-mouth.
Star Hello! (Points to a ladies picture on the door) Ladies room.
Paulina I'd tell you to go to the men's room but I don't think you qualify.
Danny [Offscreen] Hey, tall, dark, and formless! [onscreen. Shadow turns around and sees Danny. Cut to Danny lunging at him] Remember me?
Cut to Danny, diving as Shadow's hand punches him in the stomach, Danny yells in pain. Cut to Shadow’s hand grasps his head tight. Cut to the wall of a mountain waterslide. Shadow’s hand slams Danny back-first into the wall, upside down. Cracks appear in the bricks, Danny grunts with effort, his arms out, as the fist of Shadow punches on him and the wall. The fist of the Shadow squishes Danny straight through the wall, making an even BIGGER hole. Cut to another wall. Danny falls head-first into it, bracing himself for impact as a gaping hole is made and chucks of debris fall out. Cut to a pipeline parked on the wall. Danny hits on the pipeline with his head on the pipe, the pipeline shatter and the steam is being released. Shadow lifts him up and growls at him.
Danny I'll take that as a yes. Come on slick. Let's see how well you mix with water. Enjoy your trip through the sewers! Oh and if you see Monday's meatloaf, say hi for me.
Paulina Danny? You're the ghost boy?
Theme song
Reporter Amity Park rocked today by another random attack from the pasty faced ghost lad known as invisio bill.
Danny Guys we've got a problem.
Sam I'll say. Inviso bill?
Tucker Yeah, you need a publicist dude. And you need mouth to mouth.
Star Dream on loser.
Danny It's worse than that. Paulina saw. She knows I'm half ghost. I finally get to see her in a bathing suit and I can't even enjoy it!
Sam Paulina. I just had a nasty run in with her in the bathroom. She's the rudest little--
Paulina Danny! Sam! Whatever your name is. Hi!
Sam Listen you. I don't know what you think you saw, but if you say or do anything to hurt Danny…
Paulina Don't get your batwings in a bundle. Danny. Why'd you run? I know it freaked you out that I discovered your secret but, I won't tell.
Danny Yes Yes Yes!
Tucker Aw come on. How can we trust you?
Paulina You can trust me because it's my secret now, too. Which makes it…our secret.
Sam Oh great. Excuse me while I find a nice dark place to throw up.
Danny So, you think it's cool that I've got these powers?
Paulina Cool? No. I think it's hot. Seeya.
Danny I'm hot? I'm hot? I'm hot!
Dash That'll cool ya off. By the way, this isn't water. If you catch my drift.
Danny Is anybody looking at me funny?
Tucker Yeah but that's because you look like you're trying to eat your way out of your shirt. Lighten up.
Danny How can I lighten up? Paulina knows I'm half ghost! I mean, she says she's gonna keep the secret but how can I trust her? She's a girl! Girls can't keep secrets. Uh, except for you. You're…different.
Sam Well, the good news is Paulina's kinda dim. As long as nothing else weird happens, maybe she'll forget all about it.
Sam So that's where the town sewage goes. I knew it.
Danny You're making it really hard for me to keep a low profile. Looking for me?
Paulina Good job Danny.
Danny W-where did you come from?
Mr. Lancer Mr. Fenton. There you are. You were due to smack the erasers 5 minutes ago. Where were you?
Paulina He Was With Me. We’re Dating Now.
Mr. Lancer Well that certainly ups your street cred. Mr. Fenton. Mr. Foley, you're not dating out of your league. You can smack the erasers together. You two lovebirds enjoy lunch.
Tucker You okay?
Sam Of course I am. Why would I not be okay? Look how happy he is.
Danny I-I'm really happy that you're cool with this Paulina. But everyone's kinda staring at us.
Paulina That's because you're with me now.
Student cries
Paulina And speaking of that. How would you like to come with me to a bowling party on Friday night.
Danny You mean, like a date?
Paulina Not like a date. A date.
Dash Well, as much as it pays me to say this Fenton. Now that Paulina likes you you're officially a cool kid.
Danny Officially? Like a club?
Dash Not like a club. A club. He's kinda dim isn't he. Here's your membership packet. And this is Mikey. He'll be doing your homework from now on.
Mikey Hi Danny.
Dash Don't talk to him. You're nowhere near cool enough. And here's your hall pass card. After the hall monitor stamps it 10 times you get a free frozen yogurt. Welcome to the A list jerk. Uh, I mean pal.
Kwan Fenton's cool now? I thought we didn't have room for new members.
Dash Kwan old pal o mine. I have some bad news.
Kwan I was told I have to sit here now.
Tucker You'll never take Danny's place. Never!
Sam Any sign of the enemy of fun?
Tucker Nope. We're officially Kwan free. Which means I can finally focus on the satellite.
Sam Satellite? Her name is Star.
Tucker But she used to be Paulina's satellite.
Sam Ah the marginally attractive girl who always orbits around the popular girl.
Tucker But now that Paulina's with Danny she's like us. Weak, unpopular and ripe for the picking. Hi I'm Tucker and I--
Star Where have you been? You should have made your move on me hours ago. Here are my books. I like to bowl on Friday nights. And if you try to hold my hand before our third date, I'll break yours in half.
Tucker Sweet. I've got a date Friday.
Sam If that's your relationship by default, count me out.
Kwan Hey new best friends.
Tucker I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. Satellite! I mean Star! Wait up.
Sam Tucker. Don't leave me with--
Kwan You and Tucker don't like me very much do you?
Sam Who? Us? What gave you that idea?
Kwan It's okay. I know I don't fit in with you guys and I don't the popular kids anymore. Guess it's chess club for me.
Sam Kwan wait. I can't believe I'm asking this. I'm going to a goth slam poetry tonight. It might not be your kind of thing but…
Kwan Is this like a pity date?
Sam Not a date, but plenty of pity.
Kwan Sweet!
Star Hold this. Don't spill.
Paulina Danny. I'm so embarrassing myself. Could you be an angel and give me a little invisible help.
Danny That's cheating. Or…creative point scoring. I'll be right back after your strike.
Paulina I did it! I did it! I did it! You're the best, Danny.
Danny (chuckles) It's good to be the best.
Cut to Skulk and Lurk.
Goth 1 Please glare indifferently at our net guest. The Beholder.
Goth 2 Darkness. Eternal. I wait for your kiss. In the nothing I see your bleak smile.
Kwan Cool! Me next!
Sam Oh no
Kwan And now a little poem I like to call the fluffy clouds all look like footballs.
Goth 1 And Stay Out!
Paulina If you like me, kiss me.
Danny I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
Johnny Listen punk, you stay away from my girlfriend, dig?
Kitty Beat it Johnny. I'm Danny's girl now.
Danny Kitty? Johnny? Paulina. Oh great. I'm in the middle of a love rectangle!
Kitty Whoops. Now. Where were we?
Danny Uh, this is all a big mistake.
Johnny Yup. Your last one.
Danny I'm going ghost!
Johnny Come on Kitty. Quit wiggin gout and come back to me. I'll be good.
Kitty Forget it low life.
Danny Optional sun roof. Nice.
Tucker Do your thing, man. I got your back.
Star Get down here Foley!
Johnny Alright baby. Let's take this elsewhere, huh?
Kitty Oh Danny. I knew you'd come back for me.
Johnny Alright. That's it. You want her runt? You can keep her. I'm gone.
Danny He can ride in and out of the ghost zone when he wants now?
Kitty He stole some doo-dad from your dad's lab last time he was here and then he wired it to his bike. But is that really what you want to talk about?
Danny No. We should probably talk about something a little more important.
Kitty Look, Danny I didn’t want to cause you any trouble.
Danny Well you're about 8 shadow attacks too late. What's the story?
Kitty (sighs) It's like this. Ever since Johnny modified his bike so it could come here, I'd been nagging at him to take me back. The city sights were so exciting. Unfortunately Johnny was taking in the sights, too. And by the sights I mean every single girl in town. I-I remember how much Johnny couldn't stand you, so you were the perfect person to make him jealous. I was going to overshadow your friend, the spooky chick in black. You like her, don't you?
Danny Sam? I-I…
Kitty I ended up in this body. Go fig. But the good news is you like her, too. Johnny's furious, I'm pretty, you're popular. Everybody wins.
Danny Except Paulina. You realize you're going to have to stop this, right?
Kitty Maybe. Or maybe Paulina might slip up and tell the town that Danny Fenton is the ghost boy.
Danny It's Inviso-bill.
Kitty See you at lunch tomorrow. Boyfriend
Cut to lunch
Kwan Sam? Are you sure you're not miffed about the poetry thing last night? Because you seemed pretty miffed.
Sam Why would I be miffed? Just because I can't sit at my regular table, and I can't go to my regular book store any more.
Kwan So we're cool then?
Danny Hey Star.
Sam Tucker, hey.
Tucker Oh hey Sam. So how are you getting along with Kwan.
Sam Great. How are things with Star.
Tucker Couldn't be better.
Sam (simultaneously with Tucker) He's driving me crazy! You can't even imagine what I'm going through right now. He's like a human root canal. You've gotta help me!
Tucker (simultaneously with Tucker) She's driving me crazy! All I do is carry stuff for her. It's like I'm a butler or something. You've gotta help me!
Sam and Tucker laugh.
Tucker Seriously Sam. Kwan and Star are stuck to us like gum on the bottom of a desk. We have to lose them.
Sam I don't see how. I have the feeling we're tied to these two losers until…
Star Sam? Tucker?
Kwan Star and I were just talking and we decided we might be less cool than Danny and Paulina but we're way more cool than you two.
Star Tucker, I hope we can still be friends.
Sam and Tucker dash out of the Nasty Burger.
Star That was easy.
Kwan They're in denial. I learned about that last night at the bookstore.
Cut to Sam and Tucker on the sidewalk looking back at the Nasty Burger.
Tucker That was easy. Now everything's back to normal.
Sam Almost. We still don’t have Danny who's having a wonderful time with Paulina I'm sure.
Danny I'm losing my mind. I mean, Paulina's fairly high maintenance.
Sam Really? I hadn't noticed.
Tucker Yeah, but worse she's being controlled by a ghost with a crush on Danny.
Sam Tucker Kitty doesn't have a crush on Danny. She's using him to make Johnny jealous. I have an idea for how you can get rid of her, but it's pretty radical.
Paulina Danny? Anybody seen my Danny?
Danny Radical's good. Let's hear it.
Cut to Fenton Works Lab.
Danny Well, here goes nothing. I hope you're right about this Sam.
Tucker Good luck, dude.
Sam Remember Danny. Be cool. Play it close to the vest.
Danny You've got to take Kitty back. She is suffocating me. I need my space. You gotta help me!
Johnny 13 Okay okay. But you might have wanted to play that a little closer to the vest.
Danny Okay. Here's the plan.
Cut to Danny and Paulina at the park.
Paulina Oh Danny this is so romantic.
Danny Anything for you. You were worth fighting Johnny for.
Paulina Awww that's sweet.
Danny And you know what? I'd kick his butt a hundred times more and a hundred times harder if he ever shows his sorry face again.
Johnny 13 Oh. Is that right?
Paulina Johnny!
Johnny 13 Hey doll. I came to get you back. By force if necessary.
Danny Bring it on punk.
Fake fighting.
Danny My turn.
Johnny Ow. I thought this was a pretend fight.
Danny Then pretend that didn't hurt.
Paulina Be careful Danny. Don't hurt Johnny too bad. Oh. Not the face.
Johnny Looks like you beat me again dude.
Danny That I did. And now I'm gonna finish you off for good. Seeya in oblivion Johnny.
Johnny So long kitty, I'll miss you.
Tucker Noooo!
Kitty Don’t you dare harm one greasy hair on Johnny's head.
Johnny Greasy?
Kitty I love him. You know that right? I love you.
Johnny I love you, too, babycakes.
Kitty And anybody who tries to hurt my Johnny has to deal with me.
Danny Hey I don't want to get between you two. Kitty, you're a great girl but I'm nowhere near as cool as Johnny. And you two are obviously made for each other.
Kitty Well he's right. We were made for each other.
Johnny You, uh, want to finish this conversation back home?
Danny Just to make sure you can't come back…
Johnny What? Hey man! That wasn't part of the deal.
Kitty Deal? What deal?
Johnny Aw crud.
Danny Should have played that a little closer to the vest.
Danny flies back to the park and helps Paulina up.
Danny Um hi. Do you know who I am by any chance?
Paulina Sure. You're that ghost boy who saved my life. Twice apparently. Invisobill, right?
Danny Uh Danny Wants A Publicist. Hey Paulina.
Paulina Why are you even talking to me?
Student Yes!
Danny Can you believe that? Paulina's still in love but with the wrong me.
Sam Welcome back to the fold fellow loser.
Kwan Hey Fenton. I need that cool kid membership packet back.
Dash Better yet, we'll beat it out of ya after school. Fenturd.
Danny Oh well. I have to say, it's good to be back among friends. But the popularity sure was nice while it lasted.
Tucker I'll bet. But you know what the really rotten thing is? You were only one hall pass punch away from that frozen yogurt.
Tucker Hi Mikey.
Mikey Don't talk to me. You're not nearly cool enough.
-------THE END CREDITS-------
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