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S03e11 weak in the knees
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Danny Ah, Nasty Burger. Our save haven away from the worries of-[Cut off by Jazz entering dramatically through the duel doors.]
Jazz Danny, Run!
Danny Run, Why Should I?
Jack and Maddie Dude! [The teen patrons gasp which turns to laughter directed at Danny and Jazz.]
Jazz (to Sam) If anyone asks, I'm related to you.
Sam Okay, but you're gonna have to be way less cheery.
Jack We're like totally late for 80s night at the Material Grill.
Maddie But you like totally forgot your wallet, man.
Danny Uh, thanks?
Jack Don't mention it. We love ya, man.
Danny (Crushed by Maddie's hug.) If I pass out, I give you permission to not resuscitate me.
Jack Come on, Maddie. Let's crank up the tunes and moonwalk outta here.
Maddie Oh, just liike our college days! [Oddly impressive moonwalking ensues.]
Sam Cheer up, Danny. I'm sure there's a couple of kids who didn't see that.
Mikey Oh, this one's goning straight to the internet!
Danny [A little more than exasperated.] DAUH!
Sam and Tucker Danny! Wait!
Danny Just once, I'd like to know what it's like to live in a normal family.
Vlad Which you never will, so long as you're Jack Fenton's son.
Danny Great, more weirdness from my parents's college days. What do you want with me this time, Plasmius?
Vlad Ugh, the ecto-acne; it's back. Please help me.
The trio [All gasp.]
Sam Help you? Yeah, right.
Tucker Why would he want to do that?
Vlad I thought you'd never ask. [Gases Sam and Tucker, grabs Danny's leg to stop him from helping them and/or getting infected.] Help me find a cure or my fate is theirs. [Passes out. Sam and Tucker cough as the smoke clears away to reveal their faces marred with ecto-acne.]
[Guitar riff and transition into the opening sequence...]
Sam and Tucker [Screaming.]
Vlad Vlad, wake up. Tell me there's an antidote, tell me you're bluffing, tell me anything just wake up!
Jack Back off, ghost! [One blast from the ecto-foamer and a "Gah" from Danny later.] No one slaps around Jack Fenton's college pal.
Jazz Danny! Must be around here somewhere. I'll go look for him.
Jack [Maddie gasps.] Vladdie? You alright?
Jazz Found him.
Danny Thanks for finding me.
Jack Whoa.
Maddie We have an outbreak of ecto-acne. And there's only one place on Earth that knows how to treat ecto-acne.
Danny Please say hospital, please say hospital, please say hospital. [Transition to FentonWorks in quarantine] Why couldn't you say hospital?
Maddie [Vlad grunts.] Hey, everyone, he's awake.
Vlad Ah, Maddie, I knew you wouldn't let me down. It's almost like you didn't have a choice. [Danny growls and stomps off.]
Jack Looking good, Vladdie! [Loud beeping from monitor showing his vitals decline.] Who am I kidding? You're a goner.
Tucker What?! I can't be a goner; I haven't even dated a cheerleader yet!
Sam Trust me, you're never gonna live that long. [Tucker faints.]
Danny There has to be something we can do for them.
Maddie [Sighing.] I wish I could, Danny, but I still can't identify the ecto-impurities that are causing the lethal acne.
Sam and Tucker Lethal!?
Vlad Ah, life is so unfair; and for you too, growing shorter.
Danny [Grabbing Vlad by the vest.] I swear, if they find the cure, I'll make you wish they hadn't.
Vlad [Unfazed.] Oh, good one! I swear, I get chills when you get so dramatic, but if I were you, I'd focus more on saving your friends. [Tucker and Sam panting and shivering in behind them.] They're running out of time, you know.
Danny Time? That gives me a great idea. [Transition to the Clockwork's lair in the Ghost Zone.]
Clockwork No, it's a horrible idea. I'm the ghost of time, not the ghost of miracle cures.
Danny Send me back in time to my parents's college days, Clockwork. I can prevent the accident that gave Vlad his original case of ecto-acne and his ghost powers.
Clockwork Changing the past can have dire consequences. Are you willing to take that risk?
Danny Please, Tucker and Sam are my best friends, and I don't have a choice.
Clockwork You always have a choice, but since you insist on learning things the hard way [CW opens a portal and Danny floats in, giving him a final glance before doing so], try not to destroy the past.
Danny 'Destroy the past?' What? And lose all this culture?
Student Totally awesome outfit, dude.
Danny Oh, great. I blend. Ah 'ell, guess it beats people thinking I'm a- [Looks at poster about the ghost portal, bell rings.]
Past Vlad Maddie, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time.
Past Maddie One second, Vlad. Jack, do you remember to fill the filtrator with ecto-purifier?
Past Jack On it, baby. [Pours diet cola inside instead as Danny gapes at the sight.]
Past Vlad I'm telling you, Jack, it won't work.
Past Jack Bogus, V-man, it totally will. This proto-portal is guaranteed to bust open the wall into the ghost dimension.
Past Maddie Jack, these calculations aren't right.
Past Jack Bonzai! [Chaos ensues, screaming as Danny saves Vlad from the beam.]
Past Vlad [Pushing Maddie out of the way with him.] No!
Past Maddie Vlad, you saved my life.
Past Vlad Yes, I did, didn't I?
Danny No ecto-acne, no Plasmius. Mission accomplished.
[Clockwork presses a button on his staff that sends Danny back to the present.]
Danny Whew, back home, and no quarentine tent either which means everyone's alright. [He sees the FentonWorks building lacking any of it's tech.] I think. [Switching back into Fenton, he barges in. The house looks like it had been ransacked or abandoned with pizza boxes littering the floors.] Uh, Mom? Dad? Jazz? Anyone? [The air catches in Danny's throat as he sees his father in a deceiving animation error as he should be in his 80s garb. Ecno-acne still covering his face.]
Jack Nobody trespasses on Jack Fenton's property!
Danny Dad! Relax!
Jack 'Dad?' I don't have a son! I'm single, bitterly, bitterly single.
Danny You are? Geez, that explains almost everything.
Jack What!?
Danny Nothing! Uh, is that ecto-acne?
Jack It's a condition, that you shouldn't know about! How do you know about ecto-acne?! Talk!
Danny I'm your son. I know all about the accident in Wisconsin years ago that shouldn't 'ave happened.
Jack Oh, it happened alright. [Throws child down like a basketball.] And my life went straight down the flusher from that day on. [White halos appear and turn Jack Fenton into his unnamed ghost half. He shoots a blast a small teenager.]
Danny Guh! Wait! It's me, Danny! Your son! [Dodges another blast.]
Jack Lies! I do not have a son! Even if I did, I certainly wouldn't name him 'Danny.' That's dumb.
Danny Okay, I didn't want to do this in front of you, but 'going ghost!' [Identical rings to Jack's form around his waist which change him into Phantom's form.]
Jack You're a ghost? I hate ghosts! [He fires again at Danny.] Nn-rah!
Danny I don't understand, that's got to be Dad. He aims like Dad.
Jack If it wasn't for ghosts, I never would've lost the love of my life. [Classic Danny scream as he gets punted into the basement.]
Danny Oh, this is bad. I've gotta get back to Clockwork and change this. [Gasp.] No portal? Okay? Maybe I can squeeze through this stupid thing? Oh, oh no. [A news clipping reads, "WISCONSIN DAIRY KING WEDS COLLEGE SWEETHEART."] I didn't destroy the past, I destroyed the present! [Comerical break.] 'Mr. and Mrs. Vlad Masters?' [Gasp!]
Jack Say 'goodbye!' [He sees the news clipping and alll agression vanishes in him.] 'Goodbye.' [He takes it back from Danny.] Seems all I ever do is say 'goodbye.'
Danny Dad, uh, Jack, please, just tell me what happened. I mean, I'd love ta here you blather on about the glory days.
Jack Well, my cat, Jasmine, won't listen anymore. Anyway, it was twenty years ago...
Past Maddie Vlad, you saved my life!
Past Vlad Yes, I did, didn't I? [Maddie gasps and they lean in closer about to kiss.]
Past Jack Bogus! I'm-I'm hideous. Hideous! [Vlad and Maddie gasp in unison. As Jack runs off hiding his face in his hands]
Jack I may have lost Maddie that day, but I gained ghost powers and twenty-seven pounds. Anyway, after that I tried to find my place in the world. First as a ghost fighting superhero, but that didn't work out; then again, perhaps I shouldn't have debuted on Halloween. [Children laughing.] Eventually, I moved here, to continue my research on ghosts. [He phases into it, then the previous owner of home runs out terrified.] No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie would never be able to accept.
Danny Oh, man. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.
Jack What are you blathering about? [Danny shows Jack his wallet photos.] What? What is this?
Danny Vlad wasn't supposed to marry Maddie, you were! I went back in time and changed one little moment in the past and messed up everything. [Jack growls with a shaking fist.] But I can fix it, I swear! I just need a working portal to-
Jack [Duplicating his form into three.] More Lies!
Danny [He gets thrown out of the building into a billboard, grunting he pushes himself up.] I have to get to the Ghost Zone and find Clockwork. [The Jacks are on the persuit, Danny goes invisible to avoid them.] And if Dad doesn't have a portal, that means I have to find Mom and hope she does. [Danny flies to Vlad's castle, shifting back to his human form he approaches the knocker exhausted. He knocks it a few times, Maddie and Vlad greet him at the door.]
Vlad How many times do I have to tell you, 'No. Free. Cheese. Samples!'
Danny [He falls to his knees.] Mom.
Maddie and Vlad Mom?!
Scene change
Maddie We should call your parents. They must be worried sick.
Danny My parents are sort of, uh, missing, [He took another bite of the cheese wedge.]' there was an accident.
Vlad Oh, I'm so sorry, my boy.
Maddie Is there anything we can do to help? Do you need a place to stay?
Vlad Ah, your kindness knows no bounds, my love [Vlad puckers up.]
Danny [Distressed by the display.] Ah-ha, listen, um, [He places a hand over Vlad's lips.] this might sound like a strange question, but, um, do you guys have a ghost portal by any chance?
Maddie [Laughing to feign innocence.] Why would we have a silly thing like a ghost portal? [She clenches her jaw and fist as she averts her gaze.]
Vlad Yes, I'm a simple dairy man, successor to the Wisconsin Dairy King, we do not discuss ghosts in. this. house.
Danny Then why do you have an ecto-foamer?
Vlad What's the meaning of this?
Maddie Um, that's my- carpet foamer. It eliminates stains, not ghosts. Right, sweetie?
Vlad Maddie, can you forgive me for doubting you? [They make out.]
Danny [Wincing.] I thought my real parents were embarrassing, this is so much worse.' [At night, Danny goes ghost and searches for any sign of a portal.] Something's wrong here. Even if Mom was crazy enough to marry Vlad, there's no way she'd give up ghost hunting to become a milkmaid. [Diving through the ground.] I knew it! Now all I need is- Ye-yes! A portal! I can get back to Clockwork and-
Maddie [There's a crash and Maddie descends from the ceiling, presumably she broke a hole through it to reach Danny faster.] Eat Maddie Weasel, ghost!
Danny [Body blue as he gets sucked inside.] Wait! You don't understand! [Danny groans as he returns to consciousness.]
Maddie Oh, you're awake. Good, I have some questions for you. Let's start with 'who are you' and 'why are you snooping around my secret lab?'
Danny Wait, what are you doing!? [The laser fires a fine green light of energized particles, the beam gets close to his arm pit.] Stop!
Maddie Oh, scream all you want, ghost. This lab is totally sound proof; it has to be or my husband would find out about it. Now, I ask you again: 'Who are you?'
Danny I'm- your son. [Maddie gasps.] Yours and Jack Fenton's.
Maddie Liar! I haven't seen Jack Fenton in years. He blamed me for the accident that gave him his powers, Vlad told me so; he ran away here to escape his ghostly wrath.
Danny What? That's insane! He's still totally in love with you.
Jack [Phasing in from the ceiling.] It's true, Maddie. It's always been true.
Maddie Jack? But Vlad told me you never wanted to see me again?
Jack [Stepping forward to close the gap between them.] I never stopped wanting to see you, Maddie; I just couldn't face you as the thing you despise, [He changed back to his human half.] a ghost. But I had to come, because of this. [He held Danny's photos of their family so she could see it. She takes it from him.]
Maddie A family? [A tear slides down from inside her goggles.] With you? [She hugs him, after a moment he hugs her back.] Oh, Jack, And that's why you called me 'Mom' at the door, you must be our son from an alternate timeline. [Jack and her give Danny a hug.]
Danny The one good thing about having scientist parents- alternate timeline- totally valid excuse.
Jack So, where's our little alternate timeline daughter, Davy?
Danny It's Danny.
Jack That's still dumb.
Danny Eh, [Chuckling.] that's a little complicated.
Maddie Clockwork, right? [She typed at her console. His description pops up almost immediately.]
Danny Wow, you're good.
Maddie You don't really think I spend my nights coming up with new cheese recipes, do you?
Jack Oh, Maddie, just think, in another universe we have two kids to embarrass.
Vlad Let's focus on what you're doing in this universe, shall we? [Danny's parents gasp upon seeing Vlad fire at their temporally displaced child.] I knew this wasn't a carpet foamer. You've been experimenting again.
Maddie Vlad, it's not what you think.
Jack No, Maddie, It's exactly what he thinks. You and I are destined to be together, and nothing will keep us apart any longer.
Vlad Nothing, except this! [Jack is stuck to the wall due to the ecto-foamer.]
Danny Leave him alone. [There's a look of genuine fear in Vlad's eyes when Danny fires at him, it's visible for less than a second. As Danny dodges, a stray blast sends Maddie flying into the console.]
Vlad Sorry, sweetheart, my bad.
Danny Mom! [He charges a shot directly at the tip of the foamer.]
Vlad Don't you ever call her that again! [Danny is shot into the operating table and the shackles automatically trap him there.] You have overstayed your welcome. Now, you're going to have to leave molecule by molecule. [He turns on the laser Maddie had been using earlier.]
Danny Wait! [His voice gets louder as the beam neared his limbs.] No! You don't understand! None of this should be happening!
Vlad You think I care? I like it this way! [Jack shoves Vlad out of view.]
Jack Get away from my son! [He shuts off the laser before Vlad pushes him and grabs the manual tip that Maddie was holding prior. Vlad fires at Jack and he retaliates by making a bubble shield around him. The laser sends him careening into the portal frame. The emergency light bulb flashed as a warning sound dinged and donged. As the smoke cleared, a human Jack sat on his knees panting,]
Maddie Jack.
Jack It's alright, Maddie. Just remember what could've been. [He lets out a breath as he collapses into unconsciousness.]
Madie You despicable, lying piece of cheese! I wasted the best years of my life with you!
Vlad Now, Maddie, I may be a lying piece of cheese, but I'm still your husband. [Maddie carries him above her head.]
Maddie Consider this an annulment!
Vlad [Punted into the Ghost Zone, he's face-to-face with various malicious ghosts. He weakly waves as they snarl at him.] Oh, hello. Have I mentioned how much I love ghosts? No! [He is presumably assaulted and/or murdered soon after this exchange.]
Maddie Quick, the portal's overloading. [She uncuffs Danny} Go back in time and make sure this never happens, Clockwork will help. [Danny books it before the portal explodes.]
Clockwork I will not help.
Danny But- Sam, Tucker-
Clockwork Need to be cured in the present, not the past. I can reset time to back to way it was before you meddled, but that's it. [The screen displays Past Maddie talking to Jack.]
Past Maddie Jack, do you remember to fill the filtrator with ecto-purifier?
Past Jack On it, baby. [Pours diet cola.]
Danny That's it. That's it! [Clockwork smiles as Danny flies off to his family, Vlad and friends.]
Jack Live, Vladdie, live! ['His attention shifted to Sam.] Oh, and you too.
Sam You know what this means for us,
Tucker No cheerleaders?
Sam No fifteenth birthday party. When you see Danny, tell him-
Danny Why don't you tell me yourself?
Maddie [Gasp.] Put on your protective gear, you don't wanna catch the ecto-acne!
Danny Uh, yeah, about that. those ecto-impurities you couldn't identify, um, would they be consistent with, oh, say, diet cola.
Maddie Don't be silly, why would- [Gasp.] Oh my. [A short sequence of her brewing up an antidote plays.]
Jack Vladdie, you're cured!
Vlad That's great, Jack. Now, would you please stop pounding on my chest!
Jack Sorry, diet soda? [He offers while holding the ecto-purifier.]
Maddie Danny? How did you know?
Danny There had to be some benefits to being the son of the two smartest ghost hunters on the planet.
Vlad [The moment his parent walk away, Vlad speaks up.] I knew you'd come through, Daniel. All it took was the proper motivation, of course I'm still weak beyond measure, so bygones? [He shouts in alarm as he's punched to Wisconsin.]
Danny Bygones. [Transition to the Material Grill exterior.]
Maddie We finally got our 80s night out. [They chat while dancing in their 80s attire.]
Jack It's too bad Vladdie had to fly back to Wisconsin so suddenly, he'd 'ave loved this place. Right, Danny?
Danny Gnarly! [He moonwalks with his parents content.]
Jazz If anyone asks, I was adopted.
Danny Let's just say I've come to terms with Mom and Dad's past. I wouldn't change it again, even if I could.
Mikey Forget the internet, this is going on pay-per-view!
End
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