Mystery Meat/Transcript

	Fade in on Jack Fenton.
Jack Fenton	So, Danny...
	Zoom out to Jack standing in front of three teenagers in chairs. On the far left is his son, Danny Fenton, a black-haired boy dressed in a white-and-red shirt, blue jeans, and red-and-white sneakers. Sitting next to him is a black-haired girl and an African-American boy. The girl, Sam Manson, is wearing a black-and-purple tank top that exposes her midriff, a black skirt with green plaid stripes, purple tights, and black boots. The other boy, Tucker Foley, is wearing a red hat with a yellow shirt along with green pants and brown boots. The entire group is sitting in front of a closed yellow-and-black-striped door that seems to be a portal of some kind.
Jack	You and your little friends want to hunt ghosts?
Danny Fenton	Uh, actually, Dad? I want to be an astronaut.
Sam Manson	Sorry, Mr. Fenton. I was into ghosts, but they're so mainstream now. They're like cellphones.
Tucker Foley	Waste these looks and all this charisma hunting ghosts? Criminal.
Jack	Well, if you do want to hunt ghosts, there are a few things you need to learn. (Turns to a table with laboratory equipment and beakers.)
	A blue mist suddenly escapes Danny's mouth.
Danny	Oh no.
	Cut to the portal door opening.
Danny	(Off-screen) This isn't good.
	Two ectopuses escape from the portal, growling. The ghosts grab Sam and Tucker around their mouths and lift them up out of their chairs.
Jack	True, I've never seen a ghost, but when I do, I'll be prepared.
	Danny looks alarmed. The ectopuses are floating above the floor, Sam and Tucker still in their grasp.
Jack	(Off-screen) And so will you. Whether you want to be or not.
	Danny gets a determined look on his face. Jack is still messing with the various items on the lab table while Danny jumps off-screen, a white light appearing and disappearing before various fighting noises are heard.
Jack	(Obliviously:) It all starts with your equipment.
	As he says this he holds up a thermos. Behind him an ectopus goes flying past. Sam and Tucker are flung back into their chairs. Jack goes over to them.
Jack	Sam, Tucker, this is the Fenton Thermos.
	Jack hands the thermos to Sam, and both Sam and Tucker look at it. Jack turns back around to the lab table.
Jack	It's supposed to trap ghosts (Behind Jack another ectopus goes flying past. Jack doesn't notice.) but since it doesn't work yet it's just a thermos. A thermos with the word "Fenton" in front of it.
	The ectopuses look defeated and dizzy and fly back into the portal. Another white light flashes off-screen, then Danny is shown standing where the light came from. The portal suddenly closes and Danny jumps off-screen. Jack points at the now-closed portal.
Jack	And that? That is the Fenton Portal. It releases ghosts into our world whether I want it to or not. And someday, I'll figure out how that (Taps the door.) works too. (Turns around and walks towards a trembling Sam and Tucker, towering over them.) Now, who wants to hunt some ghosts?
	Cut to Sam and Tucker trembling and Danny panting and putting a hand on the back of Tucker's chair.
Jack	You kids, look at you! You're too excited to speak! So I'll just go on speaking. I was born many years ago in a log cabin in the woods. Don't exactly remember where, but I do remember I wanted a pony. (Sam and Tucker look at Danny who only hangs his head.) Never got the pony. As a matter of fact we had to eat horsemeat during the war. I had a problem with that.
	Cut to theme song.
	Fade in on a street and pan to Fenton Works. Zoom out to reveal the eccentric-looking rooftop of Fenton Works, complete with various satellite dishes and tracking equipment. Fade to Danny's mother, Maddie, in the kitchen. She puts on the hood of her blue jumpsuit and begins putting some final touches using a blowtorch on a new invention. Danny's older sister, Jazz glances up from a book to look at her mom with annoyance before going back to reading. Danny is busy eating cereal, when his hand suddenly disappears. His spoon drops through his intangible hand as he attempts to take a bite of cereal. He gasps before looking down at his missing hand. Upon realizing his hand is invisible, Danny freaks out and quickly hides his hand under the table.
Maddie Fenton	Okay, two more days, and it's done!
	She turns off the torch and Jack appears behind her.
Jack	What did you say? (Grabs the invention.) It's done? (Holds it dramatically in front of him.) The Fenton Finder is done! This baby uses satellites to lead you right to the ghosts.
Danny	It uses what to track what?
Fenton Finder	(Beeping. In a woman's voice:) Welcome to the Fenton Finder. A ghost is near. Walk forward.
	Danny walks away from the invention while his parents move closer towards him, the invention beeping louder and faster the closer they get. Danny is backed into a wall as Maddie and a confused Jack holding the Fenton Finder stand in front of him.
Fenton Finder	Ghost located. Thank you for using the Fenton Finder. (Danny gives them a weak smile.)
Jack	What? Oh, that can't be right.
	Danny's whole body suddenly turns invisible. He looks down at himself, terrified, and quickly manages to return to normal. He then gives a look of defeat.
Danny	Actually...I need to tell you guys something.
Jazz Fenton	That's not all you need, Danny. (Walks over to where her parents and Danny are standing.) You need guidance, and parents who can provide it.
Maddie	Sweetie, I know what we do doesn't make sense sometimes, but you're only-
Jazz	Sixteen. Biologically! (Danny backs out of the shot.) But psychologically, I'm an adult! And I will not allow your insane obsession with ghosts (Pulls Danny back into the shot, holding him close to her) to pollute the mind of this impressionable little child! (Looks down at Danny, who seems a little weirded out by this conversation.) Come, you abused, unwanted wretch. I'll drive you to school. (Glares at her parents before walking off, arms still around Danny.)
Maddie	Huh. That's weird. Jasmine never offers to drive Danny to school.
Jack	That can only mean one thing. That's not our daughter; that's a ghost. (Suddenly runs off-screen.) Danny, no! It's a trap! (Maddie follows after him.)
	Fade to the outside of Casper High School, then to a hallway full of students. Danny, Sam, and Tucker walk through the hallway before going up a flight of stairs.
Danny	I think I should tell them.
Sam	Why? Parents don't listen. (Trio stops walking midway up the stairs.) Even worse, they don't understand! (Throws her head back and yells.) WHY CAN'T THEY ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?!
Danny	Sam, I-I'm talking about my powers, my problems?
Sam	(Embarrassed:) Oh, right. Me too.
Danny	It's been a month since the accident and I still have barely any control! If somebody catches me, (Starts sinking into the floor while Sam and Tucker watch) I go from geek to freak around here!
Tucker	(Raising an eyebrow) Kinda like what you're doing right now?
	Danny suddenly realizes his lower half became intangible causing him to sink and yelps before Sam and Tucker help him out. His feet and lower half return to normal.
Danny	Gah, darn it! If my dad can invent something (Begins walking off-screen, Sam and Tucker follow him up the rest of the stairs.) that accidentally made me half-ghost, why can't he invent something that turns me back to normal? (Becomes intangible and walks through a snack machine without paying any attention.)
	Sam runs on screen and Danny's body returns to normal.
Sam	Danny, your powers make you unique. Unique is good! That's why I'm an ultra recyclo-vegetarian.
Tucker	Which means what?
Danny	She doesn't eat anything with a face on it.
Tucker	Oh, who cares about that stuff? Danny, two words: meat connoisseur. (Sniffs the air around Danny.) Last night, you had Sloppy Joes.
Danny	Impressive.
Tucker	Meat heightens the senses, and my all-meat streak is fourteen years strong.
Sam	...And it's about to end. The school board finally agreed to try a new cafeteria menu. I wore them down.
Tucker	Wait... What did you do?
	Cut to the Casper High cafeteria. Sam and the school board's changes to the menu can be seen; a big banner states that this week is "Ultra Recyclo-Vegetarian" week. The lunch lady gives what looks like grass on bread to a student, and then one to Danny.
Danny	What is this? Grass on a bun?
Tucker	(Dramatically to Sam:) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Sam	Tucker, it's time for a change. (Holds up the "grass on a bun" in her hand.)
	Cut to Fenton Works and fade to the ghost portal with the door open. An elderly female ghost dressed in lunch lady garb walks out of the portal.
Lunch Lady	Ooh! Somebody changed the menu!
	The Lunch Lady phases out through the basement's ceiling while Maddie and Jack are working on another invention, failing to notice the ghost at all.
Maddie	Maybe this is a bad idea.
Jack	No, it's perfect. When Jazz gets home we suck the ghost out of her (Strikes a pose with the new invention which looks like a vacuum cleaner) with a Fenton Xtractor.
Maddie	But what if Jazz isn't a ghost? What if we accidentally hurt her?
Jack	Maddie, the Fenton Xtractor doesn't hurt humans...unless it gets in your hair... (Turns it on and begins yelling in pain as the suction rips most of his hair out. After a few seconds, he is calm.) ...See?
	Cut back to the Casper High cafeteria. Danny has some of the "grass on a bun" on his spoon and seems to be debating whether to eat it or not.
Danny	Don't you think this is a little extreme, Sam?
	Sam smiles before someone puts a hand on her shoulder.
Mr. Lancer	Ah, Miss Manson. The school board wanted me to personally thank you for ushering in this welcome experiment to our cafeteria.
Tucker	(Sniffs the air frantically) Meat. Near.
	Tucker looks up at Lancer and sniffs the air around him. Tucker glares at him while the man backs away.
Lancer	No, no. The rumors about the new all-steak buffet in the teacher's lounge are completely untrue. (Pulls out a toothpick and uses it, then puts a hand on Sam's shoulder again.) Thanks again. (Leaves.)
Tucker	Yeah, thanks again for making us eat garbage, Sam.
Sam	It's not garbage. (Holds up the "grass on a bun".) It's recyclable organic matter.
Danny and Tucker	It's garbage.
	Cut to the lunch lady behind the counter. She gives a shifty-eyed glance around before pulling a hamburger out of her pocket and sneaking away in order to eat it. The Lunch Lady Ghost phases through the ceiling and looks at the "Ultra Recyclo Veggie Lunch Menu." She glares at it. Cut to Danny still holding the spoonful of "grass on a bun." He gasps as his ghost sense goes off.
Danny	Uh, guys? I've got a problem. (A handful of mud suddenly lands on his head.) UGH!
Dash Baxter	(Off-screen) FENTON!
Danny	(Turns around and grimaces) ...Make that two problems.
	Dash, a jock, storms over to Danny, a plate of mud in his hands.
Dash	(Angrily:) I ordered three mud pies. Do you know what they gave me? Three mud pies. With mud. From the ground! All because of your girlfriend!
Danny	She's not my girlfriend!
Sam	I'm not his girlfriend!
	Dash grabs Danny by his shirt and lifts him a few inches off the ground.
Dash	These are the best years of my life! After high school, it's all downhill for me! How am I supposed to enjoy my glory days eating mud?!
Sam	Actually, it's topsoil.
	Dash tosses Danny at the table.
Dash	Whatever! (Danny lands on the bench. Dash walks over and shoves the plate of mud towards Danny's face.) Eat it. All of it.
	Danny seems to be about to go through with eating the topsoil, but his ghost sense goes off again and he sees the Lunch Lady floating behind the lunch counter.
Danny	Uh...uh... (Glances down at the plate and picks it up, preparing to toss it.) GARBAGE FIGHT!
	He tosses the plate and hits Dash in the face. The other students begin throwing food as well and chaos ensues. Sam peeks out from behind a table.
Sam	It's not garbage! It's- (Danny's hand suddenly grabs Sam and pulls her back down towards the floor.)
	The trio begins crawling away from the cafeteria. While crawling, Danny turns and looks behind him. Dash seems angry while the garbage fight continues behind him.
Dash	You're gonna pay for this, Fenton!
	Dash is hit on the head again (twice) with mud.
Danny	Great. I'm still his favorite.
	The trio manages to crawl out the cafeteria door, and Danny and Tucker peek their heads around it to see the Lunch Lady Ghost.
Tucker	Huh. Shouldn't be so bad. She looks a little like my grandmother.
	Tucker and Danny are now standing in the room and Sam peeks out from behind the door.
Danny	Shouldn't she be haunting a bingo hall?
	Off-screen, the trio closes the door behind them. The ghost turns around at the sound.
Lunch Lady	Hello, children. Can you help me? Today's lunch is meatloaf, but I don't see the meatloaf. Did someone change the menu?
Tucker	Yeah. (Points his thumb at Sam.) She did.
Lunch Lady	(Becomes extremely angry, with her hair flaming on end and eyes flashing red.) YOU CHANGED THE MENU?! (The trio gasps.) THE MENU HAS BEEN THE SAME FOR FIFTY YEARS! (She yells as green flames surround her and appear circling above her head.)
Danny	Get behind me!
	Sam and Tucker promptly jump behind Danny.
Sam	(Sarcastically:) Wow. I feel safe.
Danny	I'm going ghost!
	Danny transforms into Phantom. After transforming, he leaps off-screen as Sam and Tucker watch wide-eyed. Danny floats up towards the enraged Lunch Lady.
Danny	(Seeming a little unsure of himself) I command you to...go away!
	The Lunch Lady causes many piles of dishes surrounding a sink to begin to glow and float around, before shooting them at Danny. He turns intangible, causing the dishes to pass right through him before hitting the wall behind him. He returns to normal, and smiles at his accomplishment of not being hit.
	Cut to Sam. A bunch of dishes are heading right for her, which Danny sees and flies in front of to catch in neat stacks with his hands and arms. The Lunch Lady uses her powers to send even more dishes flying towards Tucker. Danny catches these dishes in stacks again, as well as a few in his mouth. Tucker stops wincing after realizing Danny stopped the dishes and smiles. Danny flies off to put the dishes back on the counter, leaving a few dishes still in his mouth. He removes these dishes and stares at his reflection in them.
Danny	Well, if this superhero thing doesn't work out, I can have an exciting career as a busboy.
	While looking at his reflection in the plates, Danny notices the stoves behind him beginning to move around. He frowns.
Lunch Lady	I control lunch! Lunch is sacred! Lunch has rules! (Suddenly changes back to being calm.) Anybody want cake?
	Sam and Tucker nod their heads in shock.
Lunch Lady	Too bad! Children who change my menu do not get dessert!
	The Lunch Lady phases up out through the ceiling while the three stoves begin to emit green flames. The green flames fire out of the ovens towards Sam and Tucker who dodge out of the way. Danny dodges a blast of flames as well. The three stoves look angry and fly at Tucker and Sam, who flinch. Danny flies up behind them, grabs their shoulders, and makes the entire group intangible. He quickly flies them through the wall out of the kitchen. The stoves hit and crack the wall where the trio just flew through. The trio turns tangible again and rolls out into the middle of a hallway. They look behind them in shock.
Danny	(Looks down at his hands in amazement) Hey! It worked!
Sam	(Irritated:) This is the thanks I get for thinking like an individual?
	A loud crash is suddenly heard and Tucker and Danny turn to look for the cause. The hallway begins shaking violently and the lights go out. Danny looks worried and then looks at the row of lockers closest to him. Two of the lockers open and a bunch of school supplies come flying out. Sam looks on in surprise. Suddenly, a locker next to her does the same thing, and now many lockers are doing the same. The supplies fly to the Lunch Lady, swirling through her and then behind her. The trio looks shocked. Tucker's eyes suddenly widen and he sniffs the air.
Tucker	(While various meat products fly past him.) Steak...! Rib-eye...! No, porterhouse! Medium-rare!
	The meat products begin attaching themselves to the Lunch Lady'S body until she is completely covered and only her mean green eyes are showing.
Tucker	But where did it come from? (Glares and turns to look behind him.) Lancer!
	A piece of paper hits Tucker in the face. The scene switches to outside Casper High's Teacher's Lounge.
Lancer	(Speaking to several teachers and staff members) Esteemed Casper High faculty, I present your all-steak buffet.
	Lancer pulls off a tablecloth covering the supposed buffet, but the meat is missing. Some eager staff members with forks and knives gasp at the sight. Lancer realizes something's wrong and looks down at the table in shock. All that's left is a rattling bone. Lancer slams his hands on the table.
Lancer	PARADISE LOST!
	Cut back to the hallway. The meat-covered Lunch Lady towers over the trio.
Lunch Lady	Prepare to learn why meat is the most powerful of the five food groups!
	The ghost suddenly loses her rage and goes back to "innocent lunch lady mode," holding up a cookie.
Lunch Lady	(Politely:) Cookie?
	Sam shakes her head "no." The ghost seems surprised she was turned down for a split second before reverting back to "evil lunch lady mode."
Lunch Lady	(Raises a clawed hand to attack Sam.) Then perish!
	Danny slides backwards towards Sam to protect her.
Danny	Forget it! The only thing that has an expiration date here is you! (Points at the Lunch Lady. Accidentally reverts to his human self.) Whoops! I didn't mean to do that.
	The Lunch Lady roars and grabs Danny before sending him flying into Tucker. Both hit the lockers behind them and a pile of papers covers them up. The Lunch Lady grabs Sam off the ground and flies off down the hallway, taking Sam with her.
Tucker	Come on! Change back! We gotta go! (Two hands suddenly grab both boys by their collars.)
Lancer	You two aren't going (Pulls the boys up off the ground) anywhere.
	Dash, still covered in mud, is standing behind Mr. Lancer, smirking in victory.
Dash	Told ya you'd pay Fenton!
	Fade to commercial break.
	Fade into Lancer's office where Dash, Danny, Tucker, and Mr. Lancer are gathered. Lancer is sorting through files in a file cabinet while Danny and Tucker sit in chairs in front of his desk. Dash is leaning against the wall, looking pleased.
Lancer	(Pulls out a file and reads it.) Tucker Foley. Chronic tardiness, talking in class, repeated loitering by the girl's locker room. (Tucker smiles slyly.) Danny Fenton. Thirty-four dropped beakers in the last month, banned for life from handling all fragile school property, but no severe mischief before today. So, gentlemen, tell me... (Slams file on desk. Angrily yells:) WHY DID THE TWO OF YOU CONSPIRE TO DESTROY THE SCHOOL'S CAFETERIA?!
Danny	(Defensively:) Dash started it! He threw-
Lancer	(Off-screen, while Dash is shown looking smug) Four touchdown passes in the last game is thereby exempt from scorn. You two, however, are not. I'll map out your punishment when I return. (Stands in office doorway.) Mr. Baxter, watch the door.
	Lancer leaves and Dash smirks before closing the door. Danny and Tucker stand up from their seats.
Tucker	We gotta find Sam. For some reason, I feel like I got her kidnapped.
Danny	Maybe because you told the ghost she changed the menu? How about that?
Tucker	(Suddenly sniffs the air.) That steak is still in the building. 200 yards, tops.
	Danny glances over at a wall of TVs showing different security camera views of the school. Several cameras show a storage room filled with boxes of meat. The last one shows a trail of meat juice in front of the boxes leading off-screen.
Danny	Check it out. (Points at the screen.) Meat trail.
	Danny goes ghost and grabs Tucker's arm, then turns them both intangible and phases them down through the floor.
Tucker	Whoa!
	The office door opens and Lancer enters carrying a broom, Dash right behind him.
Lancer	Gentlemen, your punishment will be-- (Realizes the boys are gone from the room. Angrily:) --WORSE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!
	Cut to Danny and Tucker entering the meat storage room from the security footage. Tucker looks elated from all the meat.
Tucker	Sweet mother of mutton! (Hugs the boxes of meat.) I'd dreamed of it, but...I never thought I'd live to see it!
Danny	How is it that I have the ghost powers and you're the weird kid?
	Their eyes widen as they hear cackling nearby. They peer around the corner of a stack of boxes and see the Lunch Lady, who is floating in front of Sam who is trapped neck-deep in a large pile of meat.
Lunch Lady	My dear child...meat is good for kids! It helps them grow and makes them smile! Why won't you eat it? (Offers Sam a chicken leg.)
Sam	We don't need meat. That's fact!
	The Lunch Lady suddenly reverts back to her evil lunch lady form, with wind blowing around her.
Lunch Lady	SILENCE! (Points at Sam.) You need discipline, manners, respect! You know where that comes from? MEAT! (The wind stops suddenly and the Lunch Lady reverts back again. Politely:) Chicken? Or fish?
	Cut to Danny and Tucker.
Danny	I'll take care of the ghost. You just find a way to get Sam out of that pile of meat!
Tucker	(Holds up a fork and knife.) Waaaay ahead of you.
	Danny flies off to punch the Lunch Lady, who turns around surprised, but notices Danny too late. She is sent flying and crashes into a nearby wall before collapsing to the ground. Danny lands in front of her and she glares at him. Cut to Sam. She stops looking in Danny's direction and then looks at Tucker who is cutting away pieces of the meat with his knife.
Tucker	(Enthusiastically:) I'll have you free in no time, Sam!
Sam	(Frowns in disbelief.) You've gotta be kidding me.
	Cut to Danny crouched on the ground. He jumps up and somersaults in the air before preparing to kick the ghost. The Lunch Lady catches his foot in her hand right before he hits her, then dangles a surprised Danny upside-down by his foot.
Lunch Lady	Don't you see? This is why you need meat! You're skin and (Tosses Danny off-screen) bones!
	As Danny is sent flying through the air he turns intangible, phasing halfway through a nearby wall up to his waist before falling to the ground. Cut to the Lunch Lady as she summons shish-kebabs from a box, their pointed ends heading straight for Danny. Danny, who is now out of the wall, sees this and splits his body in two. The meat passes through the stretched intangible area of his body he created. He smiles at the new power but the smile quickly fades as he sees what the ghost is up to now. The Lunch Lady yells and summons meat out of all of the boxes onscreen. Danny pieces himself together again and watches the meat go flying towards the ghost. Meanwhile, Tucker is about to take a bite of meat but the piece as well as the meat pile that was covering Sam goes flying off towards the ghost. The meat soars around and attaches to the Lunch Lady to form the meat monster she was earlier. She fires a meat fist at Danny, capturing him in her grasp.
Tucker	(Strikes a determined pose, fork and knife handy.) Help's on the way, buddy!
	The Lunch Lady sends Danny flying off-screen. He yells and turns intangible, passing through a wall. The Lunch Lady looms over Sam and Tucker and growls at them loudly. Sam and Tucker look scared.
Tucker	Run?
Sam	Run.
	Sam and Tucker yell as they head for the door, but the ghost sends a pile of meat that blocks their exit, knocking them both off-screen. Danny holds the back of his head as he phases partly back into the room. He sees Sam and Tucker yelling as they run past him, and he determinedly goes flying after them. The Lunch Lady makes fists with her hands and prepares to slam down on Sam and Tucker, but Danny quickly flies down and grabs them in his arms before turning all of them intangible and flying through a wall. The Lunch Lady is surprised and can't stop herself in time before the meat splatters all against the wall. Cut to Danny, Sam, and Tucker phasing through the wall outside and floating, turning tangible again. Danny looks tired.
Sam	Gee, Danny. Fighting meat monsters, flying through walls...You must be exhausted.
Danny	(Defensively:) What? Of course not! What would give you that idea? (Trails off.)
	The trio falls to the ground as Danny passes out from exhaustion. He returns back to his human self, and Sam and Tucker look at each other.
	Cut to Fenton Works, where Jazz is opening the front door.
Jazz	(Puzzled:) Mom? Dad?
	Jazz steps into the room and the door suddenly slams closed behind her. Two smoke bombs roll in front of her covering the scene with smoke.
Jack	(Hidden by the smoke.) Now, Maddie! Hit her! I'm moving in! (Jazz shrieks.) Get my back!
	The smoke clears to show an irritated Jazz with her arms crossed as her parents have latched themselves onto her legs, the Fenton Xtractor attached to her hair. Maddie and Jack let go of her legs. Jazz walks off, the Xtractor still on her hair.
Jazz	This is all going in the memoir.
	Maddie and Jack get up off the ground. The front door opens to reveal Sam and Tucker carrying the still-unconscious Danny.
Tucker	Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton! What a school day! Poor Danny nodded off. We figured we'd just carry him all the way home and tuck him into bed (They start carrying Danny upstairs) without any parental interaction whatsoever.
Sam	Don't get up! We know where to go. Bye!
Jack	(Looks up at the ceiling in thought.) Hmm...
Maddie	Jack, Danny is not a ghost.
Jack	You're right. (Cut to Jazz trying to get her hair out of the Xtractor then back to Jack.) Jazz is.
	Fade to Danny sleeping on top of his bed. He suddenly wakes up with a yelp.
Danny	(Confused:) Ah! Aah! Wha? What's going on?
	Tucker and Sam are looking down at him.
Tucker	You passed out. We took you home. You've been asleep for four days!
Danny	(Sits up quickly. Alarmed:) Four days?!
Tucker	(Chuckling.) Nah. It's only been a couple hours.
	Danny lays back down, still a little shaken. Sam puts her hands on her hips.
Sam	Knock it off, Tucker. This is the second time today your carelessness almost got him killed.
Tucker	Me? I almost got him killed? The only reason this happened is because you had to be unique. You had to take the meat away! (Sam crosses her arms and turns away from him. As he storms off:) And I'm going to get it back!
Sam	(Yelling angrily:) You want to change that menu back? (Goes over to the door to the bedroom.) YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME TO DO IT! (Leaves, slamming the door closed.)
Danny	Oh well. I'm sure everything will be back to normal by tomorrow.
	Fade to outside Casper High where a few students are looking at something. Danny walks up, a look of disbelief on his face.
Danny	Or not. Maybe it'll be worse.
	Pan over a bunch of meat lovers decked out in meat merchandise. On a stage, some girls are dancing in hot dog outfits. The girls dance offstage and Tucker appears carrying a microphone in his hand.
Tucker	(Shouting into the mic:) What do we want?
Meat Lovers	MEAT!
Tucker	When do we want it?
Meat Lovers	NOW!
	Danny looks over at the other side of the protest. Pan over the vegetarian equivalent of the meat-protest side full of hippies, laid-back people, and goths. Sam is standing on top of a school bus yelling into a microphone while carrying a sign that reads "NOW!"
Sam and Veggie Lovers	(Chanting:) VEGGIES NOW! VEGGIES FOREVER! VEGGIES NOW! VEGGIES FOREVER!
	Sam and Tucker come to stand on opposite sides of Danny, glaring at each other.
Danny	(With disbelief:) You guys put together two protests in one night?
Tucker	Meat-eaters, Danny. Always ready to fight. And our high-protein diets give us the energy we need to do it quickly.
Sam	Ultra recyclo-vegetarians are always ready to protest. And because we don't have to waste time cooking our food, we can move even faster.
Danny	Don't you guys think this is a little extreme?
Tucker	(Continuing to glare.) No choice, buddy. You're either with me!
Sam	(Glaring.) Or you're against him!
	Sam and Tucker lean over Danny and he ducks a little.
Sam and Tucker	So whose side are you on?
	A wind suddenly starts blowing and the sky turns gray. Sam and Tucker's eyes widen. Cackling is heard and Danny's ghost sense goes off. The crowd looks bewildered and confused. A voice yells angrily as the contents of a meat truck fly out in various directions. The meat swirls around and eventually forms a gigantic version of the meat monster the Lunch Lady Ghost was the previous day.
Lunch Lady	It's lunchtime!
	Both groups of protesters run away while screaming in terror.
Tucker	Meat! Why have you betrayed me?!
Danny	(Looks around.) Guys, time to makeup. Now!
	Sam and Tucker hug as Danny transforms beneath their cover. They break their hug to reveal Danny Phantom, who flies off-screen.
	Cut to Jazz talking with a goth sitting at a picnic table away from all of the chaos.
Jazz	Spike, you have to open up to your parents! Be true to yourself and them.
	Pan over to Spike, who is wearing all black, has a mohawk, and is covered in piercings and tattoos.
Jazz	Tell them how you feel! I mean, it's not like they're gonna attack you or anything.
	A green net suddenly captures Jazz. She yells in surprise. Spike watches as Jazz is dragged off-screen.
	Cut to Jack reeling in the net while standing behind some bushes.
Jack	I've got her! (Maddie pokes out from the bushes. Jack looks at her.) And the Fenton Grappler is working like a charm!
Maddie	I don't understand. If Jazz is a ghost, why isn't she phased through the net?
Jazz	(Now standing under the net.) Because I am not a GHOST! (Throws the net off.) You've ambushed me, suffocated me with smoke, and worse, I was pulled away from Spike before he had his breakthrough! What do you have to say for yourselves?
	Jack suddenly holds the Fenton Thermos out in front of him.
Jack	Eat hot Fenton Thermos, ghost gal!
	The thermos simply sparks and does nothing. Jazz looks down at the thermos, then glares up at her parents. Jack scrutinizes the thermos.
Jack	Hmm. (Shakes the thermos back and forth.) Darn thing still doesn't work!
	Cut to Danny looking alarmed in front of the meat-covered Lunch Lady. The ghost yells ferociously before attempting to punch Danny, who flies out of the way. The ghost then tries slapping him with the other hand, but he dodges again. She then tries an uppercut which he also dodges. Danny then kicks the ghost hard and knocks her over. Sam and Tucker smile as they watch this.
Tucker	He really is getting better.
	Danny looks down and smiles, then frowns as he turns back to the ghost. The ghost punches him and he goes sailing off-screen. Sam runs forward as she watches.
Sam	I sure hope he can take a punch!
	Cut to a jet airplane flying overhead. Danny is sent flying upward toward it. Inside the plane, a businessman and a flight attendant are shown.
Flight Attendant	There's your water, sir!
	Their eyes widen as Danny suddenly phases through and up out of the ceiling. He then phases back down through the floor again, grabbing the businessman's water cup out of his hand.
Danny	(While phasing through.) Thanks!
	Danny flies back towards the ghost, splashing the cup of water on his face before throwing the cup aside.
	Cut to Jack and Maddie. Both are looking at Jazz, who has her arms crossed, irritated. Jack suddenly smiles before looking at the thermos in his hand.
Jack	I, Jack Fenton, from this day forth, (Cut to Danny flying toward the school.) do hereby turn my back on ghosts.
	Danny slams into the ghost sending meat flying everywhere. The meat explosion lets off orange smoke in the distance behind Jazz, Jack, and Maddie. Danny weakly pulls himself out of a crater the explosion created.
Lunch Lady	(Standing before Danny.) Oh, dear! What a mess! Are you okay?
	Danny finally pulls himself out of the crater and rubs his left arm a bit.
Danny	Yeah. I think so.
	The ghost has a small smile on her face, but suddenly reverts back to evil lunch lady mode.
Lunch Lady	TOUGH! BECAUSE YOU BEING OKAY IS NOT PART OF MY BALANCED DIET OF DOOM!
	Meat suddenly pours out of the crater forming five small piles in front of Danny, which turn into little meat monsters. Danny flies off-screen, with the meat monsters jumping after him. He does a flying kick that slices through all of the monsters before landing back on the ground. He looks up only to see the meat monsters form themselves again.
Danny	Wasn't expecting that. (Suddenly turns human again.) Or that.
	The meat monsters grab Danny. He tries fighting them off but they keep their hold and fly up with him. Two of the monsters let go of him while three dangle him upside down by his legs. Danny yells.
	Cut to Jack and Maddie. Jack is looking down at the Fenton Thermos.
Jack	...And this Thermos can't trap ghosts because ghosts don't exist. (Tosses the thermos off-screen.)
	The thermos suddenly whacks the still-dangling Danny in the face and he catches it.
Danny	The Fenton Thermos! But how am I going to get it to work?
	The three meat monsters dangling Danny suddenly let go of him and toss him toward the ground. Danny yells as he plummets toward the ground.
Danny	Change back! CHANGE BACK! (A light flashes and he turns ghost again.)
	The meat monsters look surprised, then become furious before chasing after him. Danny falls and phases through the ground between Jazz and their parents.
Danny	(While phasing through:) Thanks for the thermos!
Jack	(Happily:) HA! Ghost kid! I was right! (In a sing-song voice:) You were wrong! Ghosts exist! (Laughs.) I never doubted for a second!
	Jazz doesn't look pleased. Jack laughs and a large amount of meat lands on top of them.
	Cut to the Lunch Lady. Danny phases out from the ground, the Fenton Thermos in his hand.
Lunch Lady	(Angrily:) NO! Soup's not on today's menu!
Danny	I'm changing the menu, permanently! (Grabs the top of the thermos. Small voice:) Please work.
	He pulls the top off of the thermos and aims it towards the Lunch Lady.
Danny	I hope I'm right!
	A blue aura surrounds Danny and then the thermos, which powers up before releasing a stream of energy. The energy forms a net that surrounds the surprised Lunch Lady and traps her.
Lunch Lady	(Struggling) NOOOO!
	The energy swirls and sucks the Lunch Lady into the thermos and Danny (who has turned human again) puts the lid back on the thermos. He smiles and looks up, then goes over to Sam and Tucker, who were trapped under one of the protest balloons. Danny helps Sam up.
Sam	What happened? Where's the ghost?
Danny	(Smiles down at the thermos.) My parents have their moments.
	Danny suddenly hears a faint beeping noise and he hides the thermos behind him.
Fenton Finder	(Off-screen) Ghost directly ahead.
	The meat-covered Jack and Maddie walk up to the trio, Jack holding the Fenton Finder in front of him.
Fenton Finder	You would have to be some sort of moron to not notice the ghost directly ahead.
	Danny, standing right in front of the device, smiles weakly. Jack and Maddie look up from the Fenton Finder towards him.
Danny	Oh, sorry, Dad. (Points behind him with his thumb.) You just missed him.
Jack	We got a runner!
	Jack and Maddie run off-screen revealing Jazz with her arms crossed.
Jazz	(Irritated:) Great. (Walks off-screen.) Back to square one.
Tucker	So, you're not gonna tell 'em?
Danny	Nah. I think I might've finally figured out what these powers are for. They make me-
	A hand suddenly grabs Danny by the shoulder. His eyes widen and he glances upward at Mr. Lancer, who looks furious.
Lancer	In a world of trouble.
	Fade to outside Casper High at nighttime. Mr. Lancer appears with a megaphone in his hand.
Lancer	Manson! (Cut to Danny, Sam, and Tucker, who are cleaning up the mess from the protests and ghost fight.) Pick up that T-bone!
Sam	(Disgusted:) With my hands?
Lancer	Foley! Pick up that Turfwich!
Tucker	(Equally disgusted:) With my hands? (Holds the Turfwich by its corner.)
	Mr. Lancer seems pleased and takes a bite out of a turkey leg before turning around and walking away.
	Cut to Danny sweeping up some meat. Dash is watching him sweep, looking pleased while leaning on the dumpster where the meat is being collected. He laughs. Danny looks over at Dash and then goes to the side of the dumpster. He grabs it, turning it intangible. The dumpster's contents phase out and fall on Dash, who gets trapped under a huge pile of meat.
Dash	(Pokes head out from meat pile.) FENTON! A little help?
Danny	(Looking pleased.) Whatever you say, Dash. (Looks at camera.) Whatever you say.
	Danny's eyes glow green as the screen closes in on them.
	End