Parental Bonding/Transcript

Danny	Hey Dad, what are you doing?
Jack	Danny, keep it down, you’ll scare away the ghosts. It’s the Fenton Ghost Fisher. I’m fishing for ghosts. Check out this line, coated with a special high test ectoplasmal resin that ghosts can't break. Quiet now, don’t wanna spook them. Woah! That soda goes right through you like Sherman through Georgia. Here! Hang on to this, I'll be right back after I use the Fenton Urinal.
Danny	(ghost sense goes off) Oh no.
Princess Dorathea	I want to go!
Danny	D-ahhh! (Runs away, terrified. Dora grabs him in her fist.)
Princess Dorathea	I have to go!
Danny	You'll have to stand in line behind my dad. In the meantime... (Goes ghost.)
Princess Dorathea	All I wanted was to go to the Princess Costume Ball. And my horrid mummy won't let me! (She wails as she flies back through the portal.)
Danny	If that dragon suit's her idea of a costume, I'm on mummy's side. (Changes back to normal.) Phew! Man, that's a relief.
Jack	(Re-enters the room.) I'll tell you what a relief is...Darn, I almost forgot! (theme song)
Tucker	Hey there, I-
Girl 1	No!
Tucker	Hi, would you-
Girl 2	Forget it.
Rebecca	(Holding up her hand towards Tucker.) No!
Tucker	I didn't ask you yet!
Danny	Strike 3, Tuck?
Tucker	Try strike 3,000.
Sam	I don't know what the big deal is about going to some stupid dance. I don't need to be asked to some dance to know I'm special. I--
	Danny and Tucker are staring off-screen in a happy daze, not paying attention to Sam.
Sam	(Annoyed:) What?
Danny & Tucker	Paulina! Paulina!
Sam	Oh, please! Paulina? Girls like her are a dime a dozen!
Danny	(To Tucker:) How much change you got?
Sam	Ha ha! Very funny. Just remember: you can't judge a book by its cover.
Tucker	Well, there's only one way to find out. Go on, Danny. Go to that library and check out that book!
Danny	I can't! I get weak-kneed when I try to talk to cute girls.
Sam	Oh, and you have absolutely no problems talking to me.
Danny	Uh...
Sam	Skip it. (Walks over to Danny and lifts him up by the arms.) Go give your weak knees some exercise.
	Danny stumbles over to Paulina and leans against the tree with one arm.
Danny	(Takes a deep breath.) Hi! I...
	Danny's arm turns intangible and falls through the tree causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground.
Paulina	Please! Don't say you've suddenly fallen for me. That line is so last semester.
Danny	(Stands back up.) Yeah! I-I mean, no! T-that's not it. I'm...I'm Danny. (His pants turn invisible and falls off. Everyone laughs at him.)
Paulina	A gentleman usually tips his hat, but I'll give you points for originality.
Sam	Kudos, Danny. You just set an all-time speed record for drowning in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Paulina	(Takes a moment to think about what was just said.) Oh, no! You did not just call me shallow, did you?!
Sam	If you mean do I think I can stand in a puddle full of you and not get my feet wet, then yeah.
Paulina	Shallow?! I am not shallow!
	Sam grabs Danny by the arm and pulls him off-screen.
Paulina	On the other hand, I'm not so deep that I couldn't lure a boy away from a goth geek. And I will.
Tucker	Thanks to you, I now know the quickest way to a woman's heart: clean boxers.
Danny	(Sighs.) Man, I blew it yesterday. Paulina probably won't even look at me now.
Paulina	Yoohoo, Danny!
Danny	Or not! Hey, Tuck?
Tucker	I get it. I'm out. (Begins to leave, then rushes back.) Good luck. (Runs out.)
Paulina	Hi, you. (Laughs flirtatiously.) I just wanted to...
Dash	Meet me? Who doesn't?
	Danny invisibly leans out of a locker a few doors down and glares at Dash.
Dash	Dash Baxter. (Danny places his hands on Dash's shoulders. They begin to glow and fall into Dash's back.) All-star quarterback and school hero. (Danny gets sucked into Dash's body.) I'm also--
Danny	(Overshadowing Dash; looks down at himself) --in Dash's body?
Paulina	Excuse me?
Danny	Right! Of course! (Paulina stares at him suspiciously.) I'm also president of the Casper High geek club, and I have every toenail I've ever clipped. Want to see 'em?
Paulina	No.
Danny	Oh, then you should get to know Danny Fenton. He doesn't scrub his mom's feet every night like I do. (Kneels and picks up Paulina's foot.)
Paulina	(Backs up.) Eew! Get lost, loser!
	Danny leaves Dash's body and invisibly goes back into his locker. Dash stands up and holds his hand up to steady his head, disoriented.
Dash	Why do I suddenly feel like scrubbing my mom's feet? (Walks away holding his head.)
Paulina	(Kneeling down to Danny's level.) We have to stop meeting like this. (Notices the amulet.) Oh my gosh! (Points to it.) What's that? (Picks it up, entranced.)
Danny	That? Oh! Uh, it's a...uh... You like it? (Smiles hopefully.)
Paulina	It's beautiful!
Danny	Hey, that's great! (Paulina stands up.) Because I, uh, got it for you.
Paulina	Really?!
Danny	Yeah. (Stands up.) I-I-in case I got the nerve to ask you to the dance and you said yes, I thought I'd want to give you something and that's what it would have been. It's for you. (His pants turn invisible briefly and he grabs them before they fall.) Whether you go with me or not.
Paulina	Well, you are kind of cute, and you have great taste in underwear. I'd love to go with you. (Puts on the amulet.)
	Paulina walks away. Her eyes begin to glow green as the amulet's powers overtake her.
Danny	(Smiling, then frowns.) What am I doing? That thing doesn't belong to me. It could be my mom's, or my sister's.
Paulina	(At the end of the hall, waving.) Bye, Danny. See you!
Danny	Or I could worry about that later. Because she said yes! Woohoo! (Raises fists triumphantly in the air. His pants fall down.)
Lancer	Pantless again, Mr. Fenton? Third time this week I've caught you-- how do you kids say it? (Takes out book called "How To Sound Hip For the Unhip.") Dropping trou. I think it's time I saw your father for a parent-teacher conference. (Gives Danny a notice slip.)
Danny	Oh, man. My dad?
Lancer	Until then, here. (Holds out a belt.) It'll help you keep your pants up and... (Consults his book) out of trouble with the man. (Danny takes the belt.)
Danny	(During fade-in.) Catch anything, Dad?
Jack	Son, I couldn't catch a cold. I've been sitting here all day without a single bite.
Danny	Uh... (Holds up and points to the parent-teacher conference notice.)
Jack	(Reeling in his line.) I'm so frustrated I want to take out my rage on the first person who gives me bad news. (Casts line again.) Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?
Danny	Well, sort of. Mr. Lancer--
Jack	Mr. Lancer what? Is this bad news? (Narrows eyes.)
Danny	Mr. Lancer... (Suddenly smiles and overshadows Jack, who is looking away. Jack's eyes turn green.) wants to have a word with us!
	Scene fades to Mr. Lancer's office, where an overshadowed Jack is sitting across the desk from Mr. Lancer.
Lancer	Thank you for coming to discuss your son's schooling, Mr. Fenton.
Danny	(Overshadowing Jack) Well, sure! (Points to self.) I'm a parent, and that's...what parents do. Uh, right?
Lancer	Well, there were a couple of incidents...with his pants.
Danny	Did his pants fall down again? Poor Danny. He studies so hard he forgets to eat. I know these things because I'm his dad and not him. (Smiles hopefully, leaning an arm on Lancer's desk.)
Lancer	(Rubs his chin, thinking.) Hmm... That would explain things.
Danny	(To himself:) It worked? (Lancer takes notice.) I-I-I mean, of course you understand. No wonder you're Danny's favorite teacher.
Lancer	I am?
Danny	We Fentons consider teachers to be underpaid and under-appreciated. (Smiles hopefully.)
Lancer	I like your style, Mr. Fenton. (Gestures to a dance flyer he's holding.) In fact, I'd like you to chaperone the upcoming school dance.
Danny	Chaperone? Well, I'm not sure...
Lancer	I am. See you Friday. (Reading from his "How To Sound Hip" book.) Or, as the kids say, catch you later, G! (Points to Jack with a handgun gesture.)
Tucker	Mmmm!
Female	No.
Sam	So, your dad is going to chaperone the dance?
Danny	Yes, but he doesn't know he's going to chaperone because he doesn't remember that I made him say yes!
Tucker	Let me get this straight. You can just walk into people and take over their bodies from the inside?
Danny	Yeah, pretty much.
Tucker	(Looks at the girl with the book.) Hey, Danny. If you could control a girl for just about two minutes...
Danny	(Glances at the girl, then back at Tucker.) Forget it. You can get your own date for the dance like I did.
Sam	Does he have to take off his pants and act like a dweeb? Or will either one do?
Paulina	I’ve just got to have one of these! They’re so unique! Miss? Do you have this in a size small?
Sales girl	Ooh, sorry. We just sold our last small of this corduroy button-down fleecy tee to someone else.
Paulina	Will you be getting any more soon?
Sales girl	The Abyss corduroy button-down fleecy tee has been discontinued. If you haven't already got one, you are doomed to languish as a toxic social outcast for a period of no less than five and no more than sixteen weeks. (Giggles.) Sorry.
Paulina	(Red in the face, outraged.) SIXTEEN WEEKS?! (Rips tee in hands.)
	The amulet begins to glow around her neck. Paulina's skin turns blue and her eyes turn red. She transforms into the dragon Dora was before and stares down at the sales girl.
Paulina	Want fleecy tee! (Blows green fire at table of tees.)
Sam	Honestly, guys, I'm glad I'm not going to the stupid dance. Saves me the embarrassment of wearing the lame dress my parents bought me. (Laughs nervously.)
Tucker	So no one's asked you, huh?
Sam	Maybe if I was as pretty as Paulina.
Danny	Why are you so down on her? So she's pretty. It's not a crime.
Sam	Looks are deceiving, Danny.
Tucker	Ghost time. (Holds up French fries.) Can I finish your fries?
Danny	Say, haven’t we met somewhere? (commercial break) Let’s try this again. Hi, I’m Danny Phantom, and you are? Testy, got it. Sorry dude, I think you got the wrong weenie!
Paulina	Must have tee!
Danny	Tea? Ooh, good idea. Coffee could make you a mite jittery. Better yet...
	He turns intangible and sinks into the ground. Paulina looks perplexedly at her claws.
Danny	(While flying back up through the ground.) Have some punch! (Punches her.)
	Paulina flies through the air towards a girl carrying an Abyss shopping bag, who screams and runs away, leaving the bag behind. As Paulina smashes into the ground, the amulet flies off her neck and lands in the bag. She turns back into a human.
Paulina	(Disoriented:) Ooh, whoa. What hit me? (Notices the bag and pulls out the amulet.) Hey! My amulet! (Puts it on, then pulls out a tee from the bag.) Hey! My fleecy tee! They must have had it in my size! (Folds the tee.) I guess good things happen when you maintain a positive attitude.
	Cut to Tucker and Sam. Danny flies out of the ground.
Sam	Danny! (He changes back to normal.) Are you okay?
Danny	Fine. But that's the second time I've fought that dragon. We need to investigate. How are you guys?
Tucker	Great...if you don't count me still being dateless for the dance. (Starts tapping on his PDA.) Sasha, no. Denise, no. I've hit every girl in school except... (Valerie walks up to him) Valerie.
Valerie	Yeah, hi. Sucker, is it?
Tucker	Tucker. Or Tuck. Or Tuckerino.
Valerie	Which ends with "no." Which, by the way, is my answer, unless something happens in the next five minutes that makes me dateless.
Kwan	You'll never guess what happened! Donna said she'd go to the dance with me, so you're dateless! (Walks away.)
Valerie	(To Tucker:) You're on.
Tucker	I'll take it! (Valerie leaves.) Some may call it the rebound, but I call it a yes! I got a date! Whoo! And the pants are still on! (Points down to pants.)
	Scene fades to the Fenton Works' kitchen, where Maddie is fixing Jack's tie.
Jack	I don't understand why I have to wear this stupid thing.
Maddie	Because it's Danny's first dance, Jack. If we're gonna chaperone this thing, we have to make sure we don't embarrass him.
	Camera cuts to a wide shot of Maddie, Jack, and Jazz, who is leaning against the table.
Jack	How would we embarrass him?
Jazz	I think it's great when you guys do anything that doesn't have something to do with your sick obsession with ghosts.
Jack	Funny. I don't even remember volunteering to chaperone the dance. It's all a vague blur.
	Danny walks up behind the table, drinking a glass of water.
Jazz	By the way, Danny, just so you know, I'm on to your little secret.
Danny	(Spits out water.) What?! Wh-what secret?
Jazz	The clumsiness, the nervousness. I can't believe I didn't figure it out before. You have a girlfriend.
Danny	(Panicked:) It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! (Realizes what Jazz said.) I-I mean...she's not my girlfriend. She's just going to the dance with me.
Jack	That's great! I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts!
Jazz	You better let her know your family's insane now, Danny. If you marry her and she finds out later, that's entrapment.
Danny	(Sighs. Walking out the room:) I better go get ready. (Goes through door and walks down some stairs.) Okay, so I'm gonna have to dance with Paulina and keep my dad from embarrassing me. I can handle that.
	Scene fades to Sam's room, where she is laying on her bed, talking to Danny and Tucker via webcam on her laptop. The boys are in Danny's room, in suits and prepping for the dance.
Danny	(Adjusting tie.) Tie straight. Shirt tucked in. (Picks up Fenton Fisher. While retracting the pole and putting it in his jacket:) Unbreakable ghost fishing line tucked neatly away just in case. (To Sam on his computer:) What's taking so long with that dragon research, Sam?
Sam	Alright! Jeez! (Types on laptop.) Here. I'm sending you the link.
	A webpage with an image of the ghost dragon pops up on Danny's screen.
Danny	That's it! (Clicks on "More Info" link. Reading:) Medieval ghostly legend held that the cursed Amulet of Aragon-- (Camera cuts to images of a human Dora wearing the amulet) --could transform any wearer into dragon form-- (Pans to image of the dragon's neck with the amulet) --under states of extreme emotional duress or anger. (Zooms in on the amulet the dragon is weariing) That's the amulet I gave to Paulina. (Camera cuts to Danny and Tucker) It must have accidentally fallen into my backpack. Wait. You mean...I'm going on a date with a dragon?!
Sam	Like I said, looks are deceiving. I'm sure you boys will have a wonderful evening. (Ends video-chat. Danny's screen goes black.)
Danny	She really wants to go to the dance.
Tucker	But she says she didn't want to!
Danny	We're her best friends. We should have known.
Tucker	Well, there's nothing we can do about it now, right?
	Danny thinks for a moment, then smiles mischievously and flashes green eyes at Tucker.
Tucker	No way. Forget it. Absolutely not. No!
	Scene cuts to Tucker's hand knocking on Sam's front door.
Sam	(Opens door.) Tucker? What are you doing here? Where's Valerie?
Danny	(Overshadowing Tucker) She kinda cancelled on me. (Sam's eyebrows raise in surprise.) Do you think we could go together-- you know, as friends?
Sam	(Smiling, then frowns.) Uh, I don't know. This is so last minute. And I do have plans, and--
Danny	Well, I understand if you don't want to go. (Begins to turn around to leave.)
Sam	(Reaches out to stop him.) Okay, but only because you got stood up. I'll go change into that dumb dress I wasn't gonna wear. (Goes back inside and shuts door.)
Danny	(Leaves Tucker's body and floats in air as Phantom. Saluting:) See ya! (Flies off.)
Tucker	(Yelling after him.) That is so unfair! And as soon as Sam comes back, (Turns back around) I'm gonna...
Sam	Come on, we're gonna be late! (Shuts door and pulls Tucker, who yelps, by the arm down the porch steps.)
Danny	Paulina, about the amulet, it’s an ancient family heirloom and I need to get it back. (slaps himself) Eh, no, that stinks. Oh, hi. Uh, you must be Paulina's dad.
Paulina's Dad	If you upset her, we're going to have a violent talk.
Paulina	(Off-screen) Papa? (Walks to Danny in a pink dress.) You're scaring him. Come on, Danny. (He notices amulet on her neck.) We're going to be late.
Paulina's Dad	(Waving as Paulina walks away.) Have a wonderful evening, baby. (To Danny:) I know where you live.
Danny	And I'm glad we had a chance to chat. (Walks away.)
Lancer	(Walking amongst students, reading from his "Hip" book.) Let's get down with our bad selves. (Pointing randomly.) Yo. Shake that thing. (Looks another way.) Hey, G, you're my dog.
Danny	Paulina, I was thinking... That amulet--
Paulina	Isn't it fabulous? I haven't taken it off since you gave it to me.
Danny	Yeah, well, about that, see, I shouldn't have given it to you in the first place, because it belongs to Sam!
Danny	(Handing her his glass.) Uh... But I want to make it up to you. I'll get you something else. Something...more special.
Lancer	Mr. Fenton! About our conversation the other day concerning Danny.
Danny	Like punch! I'm gonna get you some special punch. (Runs off.)
	Cut to Jack. Danny turns invisible behind him and overshadows him. Jack's eyes turn green.
Danny	(As Jack) Yes! Danny, what a fine boy he is! Ha! Yes, as his father, I get that all the time.
Maddie	Jack, you sound kind of strange.
Danny	Oh, must be something I ate. (Spots punch table.) Hey! How 'bout I get us some punch? (Walking through students:) Excuse me! Excuse me! Adult coming through. I shave every day. (Walks to Tucker and Sam.) Tucker, Sam, we've got trouble.
Tucker	We had nothing to do with it, Mr. Fenton. It was all Danny's idea.
Danny	Tucker, it's me. It's Danny. (Hands them walkie-talkies.) Sam, you try to help me find Paulina. Tucker, keep an eye on my dad. If he starts talking to anyone, page me, got it? (Walks away.)
Sam	This dance gets better and better with every passing minute.
	Cut to Paulina walking through another room past Sam, who turns and sees her.
Sam	(On walkie-talkie:) Danny! I've got her.
Danny	(As Jack, on walkie-talkie:) Stay on her. I'm on my way. And Sam, don't make her angry. (Invisibly leaves Jack's body and takes walkie-talkie from his hand. Jack looks confused.)
Sam	Hey, Paulina. Nice dress.
Paulina	(Turns to her.) Yes, and it goes so nicely with your amulet, don't you think?
Sam	My amulet? That's not my-- (Realization of Danny's plan hits her.) Right! Listen...my grandma gave me that amulet, and--
Paulina	Forget it, sweetie. I'm not giving up this trinket or your little boyfriend Danny.
Sam	My boyfriend? Ha ha! And they say pretty girls can't be funny. Danny is not my boyfriend.
Paulina	He's not?
Sam	He's my best friend. Maybe that's why I was so hard on you. I didn't mean to call you shallow.
Paulina	What a bummer! I only agreed to go out with him because I thought I was stealing him from you. (Putting amulet around Sam's neck.) Here, take your crummy amulet. (Walking away.) I'm going back inside to dump your dorky friend.
Sam	Shallow little witch!
Danny	Paulina? Sam? Take it easy, Paulina. You don't wanna hurt Sam. Paulina! Sam!
Sam	Shallow girl!
Danny	Yep, that’s Sam. Woah! Sam! Two words, breath mints.
Dash	So, do you like quarterbacks?
Danny	Uh, sorry.
	Sam lifts up a section of bleachers and roars, causing Dash and the girl to scream and run away. Sam throws away the bleachers.
Danny	Now, Sam, be reasonable. (His walkie-talkie beeps and he puts it to his ear.)
Tucker	(On walkie-talkie:) Danny, Lancer's getting close to your dad.
Danny	I hate to do this, Sam.
	He flies towards Sam and strains to pick up her tail, then pulls her into the air by it. He swings her around and flings her into the distance. He turns around, smiling, then frowns.
Danny	Oh, man. Dad!
	Cut to Jack walking through the dance. He suddenly stops and looks angry.
Jack	Hey! (Sees Maddie and Lancer, who look back at him. To Lancer:) Who the heck are you? And why are you talking to my wife?
Maddie	Jack, this is Mr. Lancer-- (In a hushed tone:) From the parent-teacher conference.
	Danny phases up through the floor behind Jack and overshadows him.
Danny	(As Jack) Right, right. I'm sorry, it's just in this light I thought you were George Clooney. Isn't he sharp, Mom? I mean, Maddie.
Lancer	Well... (Chuckles.) Thank you.
Danny	Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to dance with my wife. That's what we adults do, dance with our wives. (Pulls Maddie to the dance floor and they begin to dance.)
Maddie	(Sighs.) Doesn't this bring back memories?
Danny	If by memories you mean things you remember that I don't, then yes! Go ahead and remind me of stuff. I'll totally agree to remembering.
Jack	What the heck? I mean, uh, thank you! Thank you all on behalf of me, Jack Fenton.
Danny	I hate to say this, but you throw fire like a girl! (Sam growls. He pulls out the Fenton Fisher.) The Fenton Fisher. (Flying towards Sam.) It can capture ghosts and dragon ghosts. (Casting line at Sam, which wraps around her neck.) Way to go, Dad!
	Sam continually breathes fire at Danny, who keeps wrapping the line around her until her wings and arms are secure. She drops to the ground. Danny flies down to her and removes the amulet. She transforms back into her human self.
Danny	(Off-screen) Sam? (Light flashes as he transforms into Fenton. Cut to him kneeling down next to Sam.) Are you alright?
Sam	Wow. (Holding her head:) Did I have fun at the dance?
Danny	Well, uh... (Chuckles.) Let's just say you had a roaring time.
Tucker	Dude, sorry your date didn't pan out. Where's Paulina anyway?
Dash	So, do you like quarterbacks?
Sam	Ah, who cares? Look! (Cut to the DJ.) The DJ's still playing. (Turns to Danny.) And I think there's time for one last dance?
Danny	Sure, I'd love to. (Hands Tucker the amulet.) Keep an eye on this, will ya? (Tucker nods.)
Sam	Promise me you'll keep your pants up.
Danny	I'll do my best.
Tucker	Wait a second. I'm dateless again?! What does a guy have to do to get hooked up around here?
Princess Dorathea	I want to go to the ball!
Tucker	On second thought, I don't need a date that badly. (Dora comes closer and places her hands on his shoulders. Yelling to Danny and Sam:) Hey guys, wait up! Can I cut in? (Screen closes in on his face.)