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S03e11 weak in the knees
"HELP!"
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Fade into static. Cut to a computer player's POV - ROBOT VISION. Around the edges, tiny screens are clustered. The top left heading is "NERD KID." The bottom left heading is "SCORE --825." The bottom left heading is. An image comes up on his computer showing two red bars maxing out. NERD KID begins running through the halls wielding a ridiculously single-barreled blaster pistol. Cut to the a gate. NERD KID runs through the gate with the pistol and stops safely, turning back toward the gate, hearing stomping. NERD KID runs with the pistol and runs away and off. Cut to a close up of the doors. Cut to the Chaos’s legs. Pan up to show the full body of Choas, her arms holding pistols. Pan up to Chaos with a determined look and zoom in. Shifting to the right, Danny, wearing the Fenton Helmet, sits at his computer.
Tucker That's the trouble with these online video games. Too many unquialified random players.
Danny I know what you mean. Nobody but us has a clue. Except for that Chaos guy. That guy is unstoppable.
Tucker Was unstoppable. Watch this. Hey Chaos. Game over vid-wid.
Danny Still not stopped.
Tucker Danny, I just want you to know, I accidentally killed your gerbil in the 6th grade.
Danny What?
Tucker Aw man. Smoked again.
Danny Darn it. I thought using the Fenton Helmet as my game controller would give me an edge, not hat hair.
Technus Ah. Haha! Once again, I, Technus, master of all things electronic and beeping am free once again to conquer this world.
Theme song
Technus To conquer this world. ALthough, that world looks more entertaining. And the fashion sense is far superior. Perhaps it is there that I shall be king.
Danny Oh no you don't. (Goes ghost) At least the hair's better.
Technus Oh that stinks. No matter. I shall return! So long ghost boy.
Danny Oh great. Constantly getting zapped in Doomed is bad enough but now I have to track down that loser. Or I can deal with it tomorrow. It is tomorrow. I've been up all night. (Yawns) Oh well, one sleepy day at school and one lame ghost freed. What's the worst that could happen?
Mr. Lancer Pencils down. All tests in. Ah teaching. Always rewarding.
Danny Last time Technus fused a monster out of the junk from my dad's shed. Be on the lookout for runaway appliances.
Tucker Copy. Objective is to defeat the boss and power him down to level zero.
Danny Uh level zero is a no man's land, Sam. It's a glitch in the Doomed program. If you get knocked into it, you're stuck there.
Sam I cannot begin to tell you how interesting that is.
Tucker If you were game savvy you'd know that.
Sam Oh really. Let me tell you something--Hold it. I got something. Fast moving garage sale headed east toward the park.
Technus Yes. Come to me my beautiful technology. And together we shall build a new body worthy of my greatness. Something sleek, stylish and totally modern. Yeah baby!
Danny Look familiar? Technus saw me playing Doomed last night and now he's trying to look like Chaos.
Tucker The way you play he shouldn't be hard to beat.
Danny Ignoring that. Okay Tuck here's what we'll do. You distract him with an L2 throttle right maneuver and I'll power up and engage him in battle mode.
Sam What about me?
Danny You stay here, Sam. You probably don't know the moves that we're talking about here.
Tucker Yeah, you'd just get in the way. Time to show him what 5 volts of manly battery power can really do. I've got him distracted. Hit him Danny.
Sam So much for battle mode, huh?
Danny Okay. This calls for advance mode with an intangibility bonus.
Tucker Yeah boy. This is better than the gauntlet of doom in level 9.
Danny Cool. How'd I do that?
Technus No! I Technus, am getting tired of getting beaten by you.
Danny Yeah well you Technus, are going to need to learn some new video game moves if you want to beat us.
Technus You're right. I have all of the style, but none of the substance. I must acquire these new skills. And I know exactly where I can do that.
Tucker You won. Great job, Danny.
Sam What are you talking about? He self-destructed.
Danny Eh, whatever. I'm here, he's gone, and that means my work here is done.
Sam Cool. So, what do you want to do?
Danny Okay Tuck, just like in the park.
Tucker I'm all over it.
Danny Aw man. It's like he was three steps ahead of us. Uhh another all-nighter. (Yawns)
Mr. Lancer By and large I'm pleased with the test results. I know the poetry of the 19th century is enough to put one to sleep. This, however, borders on sarcasm. A word, Danny. Danny when a teacher looks at his student he hopes to see the reflection of his own abilities. When I look at you, I see my own F. I don't like to fail, do you?
Danny M-Mr. Lancer. I-I can explain--
Mr. Lancer I need no explanations, I need results. So, you know what I'm going to do?
Danny Pass me so you don't look bad?
Mr. Lancer Ha ha no. However I am going to give you the opportunity to do better. I'm making you retake the test.
Danny But it's only one stupid test.
Mr. Lancer One stupid test that accounts for one quarter of your final grade. That's 25% in case you're failing math as well. You have three days to study for the make-up. Get it?
Danny Got it. I got it! If you crack the safe at MegaMart you get an extra life.
Sam That extra life will come in handy when Lancer kills you for flunking again.
Tucker What's she doing here? She can't be here to play.
Sam Oh, because I'm a girl? And us girls are lacking in what? Opposable thumbs, one track minds, stupid berets?
Tucker Hey!
Danny As much as I hate to say it, Sam's got a point. I probably should be studying. Tuck?
Tucker I'll stick with goofing off. We're going to need all the ammo we can get if we're going to defeat Chaos.
Danny Chaos is nothing compared to Lancer. Imagine if he caught me in here.
Mr. Lancer Yes, imagine that.
Technus My last form was unstable, and I was unable to conceal myself from those annoying children. But this new body is much more, how would the kids say it today, far out? In this new body they shall never know it's me. Technus!
Tucker Yo newbie. Look out!
Technus Excellent. You are quite the game player bespectacled one.
Tucker Thanks. I know a few moves.
Technus Perhaps you could teach me these "moves" of which you speak. Then I can become as hip and far out as you.
Tucker Hip? Far out? Wow, you do need help. Fortunately you came to the right place. Step into my office. This is level two, the bridge of doom. To survive this level you need stealth, cunning, and lightning fast reflexes. Watch and learn.
Technus That was informative. But let me try something.
Tucker Awesome. I've never seen that power in this game before.
Technus You mean, I have powers here that you don't? Interesting.
Tucker Okay. Doing good so far. Keep this up and you can help me defeat Chaos. I'll show you the ropes.
Technus Are these the ropes of which you speak?
Tucker No. Those are Shaolin Wushu warlords.
Mr. Lancer Playing an internet video game is hardly the stuff of human drama, Danny.
Danny But it's fun.
Mr. Lancer Fun is relative. When I see a student pass through the portal of Casper High for the last time, brimming with the knowledge it takes to make it in the outside world, to me, that's fun.
Danny Then you need to get out more.
Mr. Lancer And you need to stay in more. And here are a couple of people who will make you do just that.
Danny My parents?!
Technus Now what exactly is the purpose of this skill contest?
Tucker To defeat all foes, reach level 13, and retrieve the 7 silver keys to the apocalypse.
Technus And what happens after that?
Tucker Gain ultimate power and access to the world wide web!
Technus Very well. Then I, Technus, shall use my ghost powers and newfound gaming prowess to win the game and spread my intellect to every machine in the world! My, that was a long speech.
Tucker What? Technus?
Technus Bingo bubby. Game over. That was fun.
Tucker Oh no. Technus is in the game and he's able to use his ghost powers. I've got to stop him before he gets to the internet.
Mr. Lancer Lazy. Unfocused. Ill-prepared. Lethargic. Need I go on?
Danny Dad, I--
Jack Now that's enough of your sass talk mister.
Maddie What do you suggest, Mr. Lancer?
Mr. Lancer Danny will pass. I know he's capable. But I'd like him to spend his after school hours in my office studying until I administer the makeup exam.
Jazz (Simultaneously with Danny) But he has stuff to do after class.
Danny (Simultaneously with Jazz) But I have stuff to do after class. How do you know that?
Mr. Lancer Ah but consider this. If you fail, you may be held back a year. If it's boring once, imagine taking it again.
Maddie Get this straight Danny. You're a Fenton. Fentons get As. Or in your father's case, B minuses.
Jack Solid B minuses.
Maddie Until you retake this test and pass it with flying colors, we're forbidding access to all electronic devices.
Danny It's Tucker.
Jack He's busy!
Technus Interesting. I seem to grow stronger, and with each vanquished foe.
Tucker This is bad. He's figuring the game out. Why won't Danny answer?
Sam Maybe he's busy. Could you use a hand?
Tucker Fat chance. It's every man for himself.
Sam Every man, huh?
Tucker What? You're Chaos?
Sam If you were game savvy, you'd know that. I'm Ghost Boy. I'm Friar Tuck. We don't need your help because you're a girl.
Tucker Alright alright. Enough already.
Danny I can't believe it was you dusting us all this time. Why didn't you say something?
Sam I tried to, but between the condescension and the cockiness I barely had time for anything else.
Tucker Well, the main thing is Sam can help me fight Technus while you're out of commission. I mean, I can help Sam.
Danny What a mess. It's my fault Technus is out there while I'm stuck studying the world's dullest subject.
Sam Just leave everything to us Danny. Technus may have the power but we've got the moves. I've got lots of cheat codes and secret power ups in my arsenal. Of course, you guys must know all of those, too, right? Weird the girls do. Maybe you guys need to communicate better.
Mr. Lancer Danny Fenton. My classroom. Now. Going somewhere, Mr. Fenton?
Danny Uh, just stretching my legs. Oh, writing your sister, huh? You have a sister?
Mr. Lancer I haven't seen her in ages. Can't afford the plane fare. You know this would be an excellent time for you to say "gosh Mr. Lancer, I never realized being a teacher could be so difficult."
Danny I'm 14. I don't really care.
Mr. Lancer Yes, yes. Of course. I'm gonna get some air.
Danny Gotta cross teacher off my what I wanna be when I grow up list. You guys there?
Sam What are you doing online?
Danny Just checking in. How's it going?
Tucker We're keeping Technus in check, but he's getting stronger. It's just a matter of time before he masters the game.
Danny Wish I could help. Studying is such a drag.
Mr. Lancer Is it, Danny?
Danny Mr. Lancer, I was just taking the--
Mr. Lancer Taking up my valuable time. There are no cheat codes in school Danny, or in life. But if you don't care, why should I?
Danny Here we go. Um, in the poem the Tyger. Why does he rhyme the words I and symmetry?
Mr. Lancer The poem was written in the early 1800s I'm sure there were multiple ways to pronounce that word.
Danny And it's Blake, right? William Blake?
Mr. Lancer Actually yes. There were actually other poems he wrote that used the same form of rhyme scheme.
Danny Really? Which ones?
Technus Not bad for a guy with no moves, huh?
Tucker Oh no. He found a power plus cube.
Technus Farewell children. I, the new improved Technus, have reached the next level.
Danny Well, it's now or never. And it better be now. We've got less than an hour before Technus gets to the last level.
Mr. Lancer (Humming as he grades) Ninety one.
Danny Ninety one? Ninety one? I aced it?
Mr. Lancer Hmm, just barely but yes. You aced it.
Danny Yes! I knew I could do it. Hey, I did. I did know I could do it. Thanks.
Mr. Lancer Yes, well don't think this means I won't be keeping an eye on you Fenton.
Danny Don’t think this means you won't have to. I aced it!
Mr. Lancer Ah the old "I don't get to see my sister" speech gets them every time. Why don't they ever realize that's me in a dress?
Danny Hello. Not an idiot. Seeya.
Jack I should give him his phone back.
Danny Yo guys I'm here. And I aced the test.
Tucker Dude that's great. You got a hundred?
Danny No, I got an A minus. A solid A minus.
Tucker We're at level 13. Technus has five of the seven silver keys. Two more and he's king of the world wide web.
Danny It'll take me forever to reach level 13.
Tucker He's using his ghost powers. I can't stop him.
Danny Ghost powers? Ugh I'm such an idiot. Technus used his ghost powers in the game, so, why can't I right? Alright, I'm in. This had better work. Woah. Excellent. I'm learning all over the place today. Sweet. My powers are the ultimate cheat code.
Technus Yes! Two more keys then I, the new improved Technus, shall be the hip modern ruler of the world. (Laughs) I, Technus, am totally frying your bacon.
Tucker Well that's one thing he hasn't upgraded. His catchphrases.
Technus (Laughs) You are no match for me. For I am Technus, master of--
Danny Master of long-winded introductions. Do you ever stop talking about yourself?
Sam Do something, Danny. We're one key away from a catastrophe. Oh and congrats on the A.
Danny Thanks. He's vulnerable. Keep hammering him.
Sam Do you think he gave up?
Danny Negative. Incoming!
Sam Tuck, remember that mega cheat I told you about.
Tucker Time to bust it out?
Sam Time to bust it out. Hold Technus off til I get back. Here goes everything.
Danny Tucker!
Technus The game is over. Victory is mine! Any last requests, child?
Danny Um yeah. Could you take out the trash, Sam?
Sam With pleasure.
Danny Not bad for a girl.
Sam Ignoring that. Care to lend a hand?
Technus What? Where am I?
Danny Level zero. It's a glitch in the program. One way in, no way out.
Technus Now listen here, young whipper-snapper, I Technus am hip, and funky fresh, and--
Danny Totally out of date.
Tucker Good thing I upgraded my anti-virus program. Did I miss anything?
Danny Just the most awesome display of gamesmanship ever.
Tucker Hey guys. We've got the seven silver keys to the apocalypse. All we have to do is open the door and we win the game.
Tucker Huh?
Sam Huh?
Danny Huh? Who on Earth could have done that?
Mr. Lancer Ha ha. Once again I have the seven silver keys and I am victorious. Me. Mr. Lancer. I've got to stop doing that.
End of episode.
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